Anyways since I’ve finished my assignments,let me tell y’all about the one time I decided to beat the shit out of my prayerful auntie last year.A THREAD

So one day,my friend was on his way to come pick me up so you know sis was getting dolled up,face beat and all. So you know how if you’re doing make up from your bed,you have to put a cloth on the bed,then the make up there so you don’t stain your beddings so that’s what I did

Anyways so as soon as I was almost done baking my face,the nigga called and said he was outside ,I had to wear my shoes and finish the look but sis didn’t have time to remove the make up on the cloth so I just rushed out

So fast forward,I come back home.keep in mind that sis has a headache,I go to my room and even with my head pounding,I decide to pack all the make up in the bags and go to the other room to ask for pain killers. In the other room I find my two aunties and my older sister

Let’s call the aunties Auntie A and Auntie B,so I asked my older sister if she had pain killers cause I wasn’t well,so she says no. Before I could walk out,abo the powerful prayer warrior ba asama,Mutale before twaulaya, wemwanakashi apo upelele tiwashya room na make up pa bed?

I said look,I was in a hurry and that’s why I couldn’t pack the makeup,my friend was already waiting for me outside but as soon as I got back,I packed it you can go check my room right now.

She said even though, ulekwata ubusaka,now see this woman is disrespecting me in my Father’s household but because my parents always tell me to respect elderly people,I keep quiet and walk away

So now it’s time to go have supper,I’m still not well,I walk into the kitchen and this woman attacks me again ,why are you quiet? When somebody shouts at you,it’s to keep quiet,walitumpa sana inkutobe ulupi tumone umukulu,excuse me ma’am

So Auntie A and my sister go like “but you heard her complaining about not feeling well so why are you saying these things”,so this woman feels shy and she decides to keep quiet,the shame.she just sits there like

the next morning I wake up and I go brush my teeth,This woman meets me in the passage and says “so you can’t even say goodmorning to me?” Teti umposhe? Ukutumpa ... guys I’m trying my best to keep it cool because she’s older than me so I say I haven’t said morning to anyone sooo?

At this point,I’m tired sis is testing me and I’m trying to not answer back

Day 3.. I’m in my room trying this make up look I saw on YouTube ,auntie A and my older sister walk in,a few minutes later auntie B the mother of all angels,Queen of all Holies,provider of the holy communion walks in with this look on her face

This woman hears them complimenting me and her brain just tells her to come at me,she’s like Mutale uku ukutumpa wambile uleke,you’re younger than me, ndili mukulu sana,you should be listening when older people are talking , keep in mind that I’m having a broken mirror in my hand

Which I was using since the maid broke it,so I’m looking in the mirror while she’s talking and this woman says ndekusosha taule asuka? I’m like if I answer you here,you should start saying I don’t listen

Now the mistake that sis made was to go and say mwaya ku cbu mwatumpa noku tumpa,don’t look down on people just because they’re not at cbu,mulayumfwa sana,Lesa alamona ...at this point I’m shook because honestly what does cbu have to do with this conversation

I just said,”if you wanted to go to cbu,you should have gone,nobody was stopping you” And the last jab, she says wilanjasuka ifyabupuba ndekumaaaa oho ,I will slap you wilambelesha ..inkutobe ulupi tumone umukulu?In my head njebele oho

It was at this point that I lost it because I never get into these arguments and I hate fights but this woman has provoked me on 3 days,consecutively..And I finally had it so I answer her and I say “if you want to fight me,fight me”

So I stand up with my nice face beat and the broken mirror in my had,next thing I receive a slap behind my neck,So I turn around ..ohhhh it’s on , bring it sis

I hit this woman with the mirror on her forehead and the mirrior cut her and it drops,at this point I didn’t even care if I stepped on it,apa plan yenze kuponona..she tore my shirt and I was just hitting ,blow after blow on her airport pa mfeshi

I had never been in a fight before(I was scared because hmmm they can deck you,you even peg so )so I’d avoid but this time around I said “Fuck it,tiye ti iponone” older sis and auntie A are trying to separate us but sis is already looking like this

My Dad was in the living room so he rushed to the bedroom and I kicked her one more time, a chibaka for control

Dad says what’s going on ?so I’m shouting why is she bringing cbu into this no what’s her problem dad she doesn’t like me? She’s jealous and y’all who know me when I’m pissed I cry,I be shouting like

So dad calls my older sis,young brother and I to the living room and asks her to explain what happened,Which she did,and most of y’all who know me personally know that my Dad doesn’t joke around,if you fuck up best believe wanya,so after hearing her explanation,to my surprise...

he was so chilled he didn’t shout at me cause he knew deep down sis deserved it ,but I bet in his mind ,he was like

And he knows I’ve never been the type to fight so for me to retaliate like that ninshi I was provoked.Anyways that’s all,he just told me ati sometimes you just know older people,don’t answer them just listen so end of story so yeah

Also just because you’re older shouldn’t mean you bully ping ones around,these matueees should stop this nonsense

Sis remained in the room and was crying like a dolphin the whole time making noise for all of us in the house but ninshi she’s the one who started the fight,you talk a big game but you can’t back it up?