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Venting about her: A thread
I was always certain that I knew what love was before you came along. Before I met you I had my heart broken by a girl for the first time. It took me two years to get over it. I thought that meant that she was the first girl I ever truly loved. I couldn’t have been any more wrong
You see, what I originally thought true love was.. never came remotely close to the real thing at all. It was always infatuation. I was infatuated with the girl before you. I was infatuated with the sex. I was even infatuated with the dumb idea that she was madly in love with me.
I was blinded by that infatuation so much, that I called it love. I brainwashed myself into believing that I actually loved a piece of shit like her. And I say all of that to say that it wasn’t her. It was you. It was you who showed me what real love was and now I know the truth.
The truth is: you taught me love and you taught me HOW to love without ever having to teach me. You showed me that you loved me with your words AND your actions. You accepted me for who I am. You supported me. You treated me like a king. And I reciprocated that without you asking
I reciprocated the unconditional love that you gave me because it came so easily. It was natural. It was organic. It was effortless. It was comfortable. It was warm. It was beautiful. It was pure. And most of all it was love. It was love. Not infatuation. Love. And how do I know?
I know it was love because you made me want to be a better man every day. You made me want to be more patient. You made me want to be more open. More vulnerable. More loving. More sensitive. More caring. You made me want to be more selfless. You made me want to be more happy.
I know it was love because when you really wanted something, I couldn’t tell you no if you gave me that god damned “
https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🥺" title="Pleading face" aria-label="Emoji: Pleading face">look” Those big beautiful eyes just hypnotized me like some sort of superpower and it was impossible to say no. I know it was love because I wanted to protect you
I never wanted you to hurt. I know it was love because of how much it killed me inside to see you cry. I know it was love because you were interested in the things I said. You listened to me ramble on & on about things I was passionate about even if you had no clue what they were
You’d listen and want to learn what they were. You invested time in things you probably never would have cared about just because I liked them and so we could have more things to talk about and do together. You took me out on dates. That’s never happened to me before. It was new.
But you did those things because you loved me. And you were so fucking smart. A lot of times that’s a quality that can intimidate smart men. I was never bothered by it. I loved that we could have the deepest intellectual conversations together for hours and learn from each other.
Even when we disagreed on a topic, we’d listen to each other’s perspective and try to understand each other’s point of view. And I know that was frustrating sometimes because I’m so fucking stubborn, but you didn’t care. You made me admit when I was wrong and it was impressive.
That was one of my favorite things about you. You didn’t tolerate any type of bullshit. When I was wrong or acting up, you’d check my ass so damn quick. And you were so blunt and straightforward about it too. You didn’t just go along with whatever I said and I loved that so much.
So that’s how I know it was real love and not infatuation. It was never about the bomb sex or any of that other superficial bullshit. I know it was love because it was about us. It was about loyalty, trust, and commitment. It was about you and me no matter what. It was about love
I loved you with every fiber of my being. And so did you. You gave me everything you had. You gave me all your love and you didn’t hold anything back. So all that leaves me asking myself is... If everything was going so perfect why the fuck did I push you away????
End of thread.
End of thread.
