Dear young Nigerian men:
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Your marriage is not your grandpa’s marriage. The woman you married is your equal. All that hard man talk and that other sh*t, that’s just boys-will-be-boys crudity. You’re now a man. Put it all behind you. Prove your machismo where it matters
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Cultivate a friendship and lasting bond with your spouse..and children. Get to know them (one advantage with the wife you’ll become a beneficiary of a secret sororal solidarity network which perks include juicy gossip- even Madiba was in on this, don’t play yourself).
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If you don’t have help in your home, assign yourself house chores (Living in America mine was a handy man and dish washer - you’ll find it relaxing). Must own a toolbox. The good news is that you can still go out and tell the boys how you’re the boss at home. She won’t tell.
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Be diligent at your labor and take care of your family. Take care of the other business also. As Millie Jackson used to say, “keep the home fires burning”....
Vary your game. Stay fit and learn new things (trust me your conception was probably not in the missionary position)
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Loving and spending time with your children is more or less an investment in your own future happiness. Children grow up very quickly (18 years is a very short time). Else, there will come a time when they’ll return her love and ignore you
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