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So I got depressed, I cried for a couple of nights and got some cloudy thoughts. Then my boyfriend sent me to pick up one of my cats. Depression is a serious shit.
I did some stupid shit and blamed a lot of people who have failed to me. My family, some friends, life has been a fuckery.
So a went to my mom's house to pick up the cat, she's one of my oldest cats her name is Coco, she's like 12 YO.
When I found her she was sick as fuck and I needed to take a hell of care. She was very sick and a small bag of bones.
That day I saved her life.
Anyways, I got so fucking depressed I stop eating and sleeping. The quarantine has been a bitch for me. Like it woke up all the ghosts of my past.
On 2018 I met this guy, a beautiful, kind, funny and sexy guy. I thought "I'm gonna fuck this man" I did. I fell in love on our first day and a couple of days after that he was my boyfriend
He's fucking beautiful.
Lately I was thinking maybe he doesn't love me as I love him. We have been boyfriends for a year and a couple of months. I got engaged to him on October.
But my mind was playing a game, let's get sad, let's overthink. Fuck, human mind is a shitty whole.
So anyways, I talked to him a couple of nights ago, I had a big break down. I was missing something unknown.
This charmed prince I found on 2018 was able to listen quietly and then he just hug me and looked me at my eyes and made me feel like I was broken but also I could be fixed.
Today I started with this process. I got to take care of myself. That's it. And the only way of doing it is thinking I can do it. Even if sometimes it's hard, I can take my ass off of my cloudy mind and put myself together.
The cat I rescued several years ago it's now with me, and is saving me just as I saved her. I made her a necklace. And she reflects just what she is, a gay asshole's cat.
Fucking beautiful Queen 
I'm about to start this new story on this fucking sucker year. Healing myself through this horrible motherfucker year.l
Lucky for me, I saved her, now she's saving me. Lucky for me I got this prince who's obsessed with me, just as I am with him.
I know you'll motherfuckers don't give a fuck about this thread. However I needed to share it: I got an amazing mom, I got a good Karma, I got the love of my life sleeping every night next to me.
And I'm not gonna let depression fuck me up, no even during this fucking crazy time.
I am now looking at the silver lining side of this pandemic, this quarantine, this madness. We need to look for the light on the darkness and sometimes we need just an small push from our love ones.
A push from those who are there and sometimes we don't see them.
Be positive. Be kind. Be brave. We can get through this.
