when i was a gay little boy who'd recently played myst on cd-rom i'd lay in bed imagining little private islands of my own set up with buildings and gardens of my own design. i'd explore, tend the plants, interact with objects.

anyway i've been trying to do the journeying in six ways and it feels really similar, like, in a bad way. i know the very good advice is that you'll feel like you're making it up but you won't be, but... it just feels like playing pretend.

i have a powerful urge to curate. to design every little element of my environment. i feel like this is antagonistic to authenticity in journeying, but that means I'm in a position of only trusting things i don't like and don't want to engage with.

tl;dr the black madonna of montserrat :(((

ok upon investigation not her, iconography is wrong.

tall, standing, veiled, folk-saint posture, palms out, hands relaxed, one pointing up, the other down, wrists near the center of the chest, crowned, no baby, face and hands black ebony, can't tell the color of the robes

who the heck is this statue in the middle of my watchtower and in a hermitage cave four layers below it?

unnamed path guys: and then you'll meet the ancestors of mEn WhO lOvE mEn dancing around a great bonfire in a great gay celebration embracing and dancing and doing ghost poppers or w/e :) :) :)

my jungian-ass subconscious doing the stage direction for joirneywork: actually,,