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if there's one thing that's important to kotetsu, indubitably, it's his wife. even if she's dead, kotetsu's fond of his memories w/ her and i like.....rly don't think that he'd like to forsake any of those happy moments, no matter how bittersweet it might be
kotetsu, as a character, holds certain characters extremely close, to the point he's willing to die for them—it's been shown that these characters are his family n barnaby for the most part, and i think that taking even one of them out of the equation is like. a disservice.
like...kotetsu wouldn't abandon his family, alive and/or dead, for the sake of a romance. i think he'd have a healthy balance of both, or try to achieve that, and barnaby would be 100% understanding of that bc barnaby n kotetsu have both gone through serious trauma,
and i feel like, as trauma victims, they deeply understand why they both hold certain things important to them. kotetsu's family—anju, muramasa, kaede, and tomoe—are important to kotetsu. to abandon something that so deeply interconnects him w/ them? it's unthinkable!
it'd be as if kotetsu asked barnaby to abandon the toy he has because "it's childish," when that's a cherished gift from his parents. i don't think they'd ask one another to abandon smth so important to them, bc even if there was a problem, they'd talk it out like always.
kotetsu n barnaby's relationship is built out of mutual trust, understanding, and vulnerability. barnaby has the courage to be vulnerable in front of someone after being alone for nearly two decades. kotetsu supports him and, later on, reciprocates that vulnerability!
tl;dr kotetsu and barnaby trust each other and are comfy enough to understand they both hold other things important, and wouldn't ask one another to abandon relics they have of their late loved ones. and if there was a problem? they'd talk it out, esp when it's serious
