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“& #39;Should I feel guilty for feeling happy right now? Is it bad of me?’ Rather than feel shame, however, [she] has embraced gratitude for the things & people in her life that& #39;ve allowed her to feel comforted."
So glad to see this written about. I haven& #39;t known how to talk about it https://twitter.com/lpbradley/status/1246836027513241601">https://twitter.com/lpbradley...
So glad to see this written about. I haven& #39;t known how to talk about it https://twitter.com/lpbradley/status/1246836027513241601">https://twitter.com/lpbradley...
https://twitter.com/lpbradley/status/1246836807125413888?s=19">https://twitter.com/lpbradley...
It feels impossible -- and in such terribly bad taste! -- to talk about how in the midst of all my other big less-good (& terrible) feelings I& #39;m often so much happier than I normally ever am
But it& #39;s also my experience, and it& #39;s nice to know I& #39;m not alone.
But it& #39;s also my experience, and it& #39;s nice to know I& #39;m not alone.
In my normal life I often can& #39;t access "happy" at all (this is one reason I like high-impact time in the desert so much, because it lets me), so I& #39;ve been somewhat preoccupied with how delightful it turns out "happy" is.
In the midst of... everything. Which feels inappropriate.
In the midst of... everything. Which feels inappropriate.
[cw internalized ableism] It& #39;s just such a relief not to be fucking up by existing! That my mental health isn& #39;t wildly Incorrect! That having no focus for work and no ability to manage getting out of the house is...ok, actually! That I& #39;m not a freak & a fuckup to not cope w life
And so suddenly I can...breathe. i can sit in a patch of sunlight & feel it on my skin, snuggle down into a blanket & just feel good.
I& #39;m allowed.
It& #39;s ok.
And I don& #39;t know how to cope with that, either, but in such a nice way
I& #39;m allowed.
It& #39;s ok.
And I don& #39;t know how to cope with that, either, but in such a nice way
& my world is opening up--I& #39;m not a shut in for whom getting out to do things is too hard, I& #39;m social distancing well & can still do social activities bc they are RIGHT HERE, they aren& #39;t an endless string of executive function away, I just need clothes & a computer
I can do that
I can do that
And I& #39;m trying to offset feeling like this is somehow also wrong of me by being an infomercial about coping more & hating yourself less when incapacitated by ADHD & trauma & misery for my normally extremely-high-functioning friends who are being brought to their knees by this
But it& #39;s hard to talk about my experience, because I feel like I& #39;m doing it wrong
(& I forgot to tag this thread, #pandemiclife)
But for once my doing it wrong isn& #39;t walking on knives like the Little Mermaid
And that& #39;s so alien, & so glorious
(& I forgot to tag this thread, #pandemiclife)
But for once my doing it wrong isn& #39;t walking on knives like the Little Mermaid
And that& #39;s so alien, & so glorious
(she says, having been down for the count all day on day 11 of a migraine, but still, but still)
I& #39;m thinking about Mary Oliver& #39;s Wild Geese,
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
I have never wanted to see days like these, and I want not to be now, and I feel like I am not doing as much as I should be
And I was wholly unprepared to find that they are, for me, at least for now, limned in grace.
And I was wholly unprepared to find that they are, for me, at least for now, limned in grace.
