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here we go, very long (but hopefully cute?) story thread from the final night of the hammerstein ballroom shows
in truth, the wasteland, baby! tour was one of the main things holding me together through what was a very challenging summer 2019. and it was coming to an end...
i had been to several hozier concerts in october - thank god - and i thought that was the end of the tour for me. but i said to myself that if i Did get the chance to see them one more time, i wanted to make something for the band members to thank them for everything...
fast forward a few weeks to when @spiceygorl and i, against all odds, planned and executed a trip to NYC to catch the final two shows of the US tour (rach we did That?!)
i had to follow through with making something for the band members, but it took me awhile to figure out what. then it dawned on me that this tour was like a chapter in a book & it was coming to an end for me as well as for each of them. i wanted to commemorate that chapter, so...
i made a bookmark for each of them. while i sat in line, i wrote down a note for each person on the back. i felt a little silly about doing this, it felt kinda cheesy. but then i saw that Rachel Beauregard posted something on her insta saying something very similar about chapters
so i felt good about it after that. but i had no idea how i was going to get them to the band.
our first show (monday) came and went (it was lovely!). andrew tweeted that he wouldn’t be meeting fans afterwards, so we called it a night.
the next day as i was getting ready to head out of the hotel room, i put the little bundle of bookmarks in my pocket *just in case.*
the next day as i was getting ready to head out of the hotel room, i put the little bundle of bookmarks in my pocket *just in case.*
it was getting close to the time when we had heard that the band usually does soundcheck, and rach and i were on our way back to our spot in the line (shoutout to the ANGELS who held our spot for us so that we could get food, use the restroom, etc. ily)
we decided to take the long way back, by way of the stage door. we saw a couple of crew with “hozier” on their jackets, so we knew we were in the right place
we both felt kinda silly walking by, trying to seem casual. it was very quiet, but then a door opened and the sound of hozier’s voice, in a rich, otherworldly, & unfamiliar tune, spilled out into the alleyway. the crew member slipping into that door looked back at us and smiled.
rach and i were stunned. should we wait for that crew guy to come back? what should we do?? we lingered for a moment... here i should add:
back at the Sacramento show when i was walking to the venue from the parking garage, i saw rachel beauregard outside of the tour bus and i (a ridiculously shy person) decided (with @spiceygorl’s encouragement) to go up to her and say hello. it was terrifying, but she was so kind!
back to NYC: rach and i were standing there trying to decide if we should talk to one of the crew people. rach said “channel your rachel beauregard energy like in sacramento!! you just walked right up to her” and i replied, “but rachel isn’t Here.” (obviously she’s not, amy, omg)
that’s when a woman came running past us with her dog at her side. she turned and called to another woman who was behind us who answered her in a beautiful english accent. it was rachel (and rachel’s dog 
https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😭" title="Loudly crying face" aria-label="Emoji: Loudly crying face">) and thandii. i was so shocked that i blurted out “RACHEL?? JESS?!”
the four of us talked for a bit and i remembered the bookmarks in my pocket. i handed the little bundle to rachel and she was like, “what is it?” i told her and she was so excited because she had just bought a new book. we wished them good luck on the final show and they left.
rach and i got back in line and i was literally trembling, lol i took this video to document my excitement (sadly we were so stunned by what had just happened that we didn’t think to wait for that crew guy to come back https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😅" title="Smiling face with open mouth and cold sweat" aria-label="Emoji: Smiling face with open mouth and cold sweat">)
the show was spectacular.... such a lovely end to the US tour. i had completely forgotten about my gift - it was out of my hands now & i was just there to enjoy this beautiful, ephemeral experience one final time. during dinner & diatribes, rachel looked over and recognized us https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😭" title="Loudly crying face" aria-label="Emoji: Loudly crying face">
after the show, we went to the stage door and waited about two hours. the band members came out a couple at a time and we shouted “i love you!” and cute stuff like that
andrew came out in a hurry. he said, “okay guys, my manager is gonna make me leave in a few minutes, so i’ll sign as many as i can but i’m so sorry this has to be quick.” honestly i was so touched by the kindness in his eyes that it took me a minute to actually do or say anything
i was in the back for awhile, but eventually got to a spot close to him & reached out my hand hoping he would see it. i truly didn’t think he would, but suddenly he took my hand & looked me right in the eye. all i could possibly say was “THANK YOU SO MUCH.” but like, he Felt That
(that squeeze of the hand was... everything. reassuring as heck. i still think about it on rough days)
when caroline succeeded in pulling him away at last, i was at the front of the crowd. i watched the space between us grow, and just took in the last moments of his presence.
when caroline succeeded in pulling him away at last, i was at the front of the crowd. i watched the space between us grow, and just took in the last moments of his presence.
that’s when i saw something drop out of his jacket pocket and flutter to the ground. a paper. a rectangular strip of pale green-blue paper that said “andrew” in a very familiar cursive. i couldn’t believe it. i wanted to run after him, but there were security guards in my way.
i called to one of them and said as quickly as i could, “he dropped that paper. it’s for him. could you please give it back to him?” thankfully the guard was so kind and picked it up and went after them. i couldn’t see what happened when they went around the corner, but...
the guard came back and said that he got it to him. i was so relieved. then i was struck by just hoW sweet andrew was that he had put that simple gift that rachel had passed on to him in his lil pocket and probably wanted to talk to whoever it came from, if only i had Known.