was fantastic sexual chemistry, and they cared for each other, there was affection, but there wasn't romantic love. Unconsciously, just like Baekhyun, Chanyeol chose not to move on.

When they meet again, we all know what happens. With time, they choose to be together again, they choose to rekindle the relationship, because you can love someone very much, but you can choose /not/ to be with them, just like Baekhyun did when he decided to leave Chanyeol.

There's the danger of history repeating itself, of Baekhyun leaving again, and if things would've kept going the way they are, despite knowing how Mino would be affected, there's a possibility Baekhyun would've left again...and it would've been more devastating this time around.

In the end, though, that didn't happen. He chose to go through the hardship with Chanyeol this time around and in the end, their relationship worked.

No one noticed the little details I placed, I believe that marked how intensely they loved, or, if you want to look at it this

way, the little details that showcased how much they'd worked on their relationship. Example: their dynamic while cooking. This was made deliberate, I put it there and described it each time on purpose because it's important. They'd learned to read each other so well that they

were able to tell what the other was going to do and how. That's why neither spoke when they cooked, they only worked together silently and in harmony.

In the end, if we think about it, and based on what I mentioned, there were several instances where this could've

gone different and we could've gotten a "sad" ending.

1. Baekhyun didn't reciprocate Chanyeol's advances in high school

Yes, Baekhyun could've either not developed the limerence and Chanyeol would've eventually moved on, or Baekhyun could've developed the, but he decided

not to give Chanyeol and himself a chance. In my mind, I believe that for either of this scenarios, Chanyeol would've moved, would probably be like his family, become succesful, and live blissfully as an heir of the Park family, while Baekhyun would've gone to college, gotten a

career and /maybe/ found someone to love...

Or they could've met later in life and have a beautiful story that wasn't as complicated since, by that point, Baekhyun would be /someone/, perhaps not Park family someone, but someone nevertheless.

2. Limerence is over, Chanyeol debuts, Baekhyun goes to college

Like I said, this transition was tough for both of them and it was when they started to see the flaws in the other. Instead of things going the way we initially see, Baekhyun and Chanyeol could've easily broken up.

In this scenario, I imagine Chanyeol succeeding, though he wouldn't turn out like a carbon copy of his sister like in the previous scenario. He would be humble and would probably be known for that in the industry, and yes, he would always thank Baekhyun for that, but they

would've moved on eventually. Baekhyun would've perhaps found someone in college, around the fourth year of university, would've fallen in love and maybe gotten married to this someone, and yes, he would always care for Chanyeol, but in this scenario, they wouldn't have been

meant to be, as they both chose different paths and to love other people the way they didn't choose to love each other.

This scenario made me sad. It's not cannon and it isn't real, I'M NOT WRITING THIS AS A DRABBLE EVER DON'T EVEN ASK ME, IT WON'T HAPPEN.

3. Chanyeol chooses to love Sehun

In this scenario, Chanyeol could've easily chosen to stop loving Baekhyun, could've stopped holding on to the hope of seeing Baekhyun again, and could've easily experienced limerence with Sehun and even chosen to love him.

In this case, Mino would be born and as such, regardless of the outcome, he would still be born. As such, Chanyeol would find out of Mino's existence eventually.

We could follow the story's timeline and Chanyeol sees Baekhyun at the supermarket. On this occasion, though, he

wouldn't be as forgiven about Baekhyun hiding Mino, though he would come around eventually, and in this scenario, he /would/ marry Sehun and yes, Baekhyun /would've/ gone to the wedding and yes, I just broke my own heart at the thought. In this case, the Baekhyun we see in the

story is very much like this one, so he would probably choose to continue loving -once again, unconsciously- and would stay lone...or would eventually move on.

Another scenario is that Chanyeol meets with Baekhyun again much later. By this point, he would be divorced from

Sehun because, in the end, in my mind, they were never meant to last. Mino would be 15 or 16, Chanyeol would get upset, but hey, in this scenario, Chanyeol decides to love Baekhyun again and Baekhyun never really chose to stop loving.

...or maybe he did and he's with someone

now, though that's highly unlikely because know how the Baekhyun in ASITW is by these points.

The other possibility is that, years before, Baekhyun passed away and Mino is left under Kyungsoo's and Yixing's care and eventually, he himself decides to seek out Chanyeol, who would

be devastated after knowing about what happened to his first love.

4. After the last confrontation with Mrs. Park and Yoora, Chanyeol doesn't arrive to hear them, and Baekhyun chooses to leave

To me, this one would be the saddest. By this point they didn't only choose to love, but things are working out, they're working on their relationship

beautifully. Baekhyun, in fear after nasty rumors arise and having the threat become much worse, decides to leave Mino and Chanyeol.

To me this is the most devastating because we all know what would happen to Baekhyun if he did that. Not only considering he'd be even more

blacklisted than before, but also because it would be the second time he left the love of his life and now, even his /child/.

Needless to say, I don't think I need to mention what would happen.

As for Chanyeol, he would be devastated, as would be Mino, and while searching for

Baekhyun, this time around, Chanyeol would be too late.

Once again, I'm devastated. I won't elaborate on this one.

With that said, I much prefer the ending we got for ASITW and I won't be changing it anytime soon. The scenarios I mentioned were merely other possible outcomes, but they're not canon to the story in any way. Like I once told a friend of mine, there's always different possible

outcomes for every story based on the decisions of the characters. I personally prefer choosing the ones that can lead to happy endings.

Now, I would love to do this same analysis for Strawberry & Mango because everything I have planned is perfect to discuss this, PERFECT, but I can't because spoilers.

Any other story you would like to discuss? Please one that is already finished since I don't want to give heavy

spoilers.

I WILL be doing this for the CEOs one after I finish this angsty scene, btw, since I'm actually incorporating this and other things I learned into it, particularly the parts about erogenous zones and sexual and reproductive rights.

Just let me know, any finished story is game.

We could discuss the one based in Snuff, since I'm not planning on writing it...hmm...just let me know

Second story: Cycles

https://twitter.com/creggcell/status/1222695566762762242?s=20

So before we begin, I want to clarify once again that this story was written on a whim, whatever came to mind as I typed on Twitter was what happened. The only image I had in mind before starting was when Chanyeol was telling Baekhyun he was leaving the apartment.

With that said, it's also important to note that this story has more elements that don't only encompass what I saw in my sexuality seminar, but many more aspect. With that said, I'll explain as we go.

Also, many of the possible scenarios and outcomes are made as I go on the

thread since I didn't plan this story and never really gave thought to possible outcomes.

Once again, you can comment and give ideas and even tell me what /you/ think could be a possible outcome.

So in the story, we have two povs, Chanyeol's and Baekhyun's. This offers a wider perspective of the story and gives us a clearer image of the situation. Remember that every story always has 3 sides, what I saw, what you saw, and what happened in the middle. That's why listening

to all sides before making a decision is always so important. To get an idea and an unbiased opinion of something, you have to find the middle ground.

I'm getting out of subject here lol anyway, as I was saying, this story has two povs, so we get an idea of what the perspective

is from each side.

We start with both of them mentioning they had feelings for each other. We could say that, in their younger years they had a period of limerence of a period of time we don't know and that isn't too relevant. Here we see them both take different paths:

after limerence is gone, Chanyeol chooses to love while Baekhyun chooses not to love and move on. They never spoke out their feeling and /assumed/ they weren't reciprocated. Insecurity and feeling inadequate for a partner is often associated with limerence.

Then, we see them in college. They always had a nice friendship, but nothing much is mentioned beyond that. What /is/ important to point out is that Baekhyun was always very naïve, hence he developed an infatuation (yes, a limerence) for a guy and , like it always happens with

limerence, he was blinded by him. Let me clarify that physical appearance isn't a determining factor in a person's value, but it most definitely has to do with the physical attraction we feel, along with other aspects. This guy wasn't attractive physically, but he was very

charming and smart. With this, he lured Baekhyun in and due to the limerence, Baekhyun failed to see what kind of person this guy actually /was/.

This man was abusive, that's clear. He was a manipulator, he liked to have someone he could bend to his will, someone he could mold

and turn into whatever he wanted. Baekhyun didn't realize this as the guy was really good at it, very subtle at first. If anything, and this is me stepping out of my sexuality seminar and stepping into my Psychiatric Emergencies and Personality Disorders Seminar (also super

interesting), he has many characteristics of either a Narcissistic or Antisocial personality disorder. I didn't characterize him enough in my mind to tell you which, though, but from what little my mind provided, I could tell at least this much.

So anyway, here we see Baekhyun completely blinded to his boyfriend's whims because of the reaction going on in his brain. He doesn't see his flaws, he fails to understand why Jisoo and Chanyeol dislike him, though he also fails to see why his boyfriend say his friends are

against them.

Then we get into the sexual aspect of the relationship. Regardless of Baekhyun's feelings on the matter, his boyfriend coaxed him into having sex. This here is sooo important because it goes against a sexual right that establishes that each person has a right (eh

redundant) to enjoy their sexuality /withou/ coercion, violence and abuse. Baekhyun's boyfriend goes against this because he makes Baekhyun feel guilty and /yes/, that's a form of coercion. Not only that, but Baekhyun mentions (I believe) that they would fight and then his

boyfriend would do as he pleased. This means that the guy /abused/ of him (I realize now I should've put a trigger warning fml) physically and sexually, without even going into the emotional abuse, but that's for later (if I don't forget).

Another aspect that Baekhyun mentioned was that he didn't enjoy himself having sex with his boyfriend. Something I learned in my seminar is that your partner doesn't /have/ to give the other an orgasm, that's an expectation that doesn't always to be met. However, in this

situation, Baekhyun /didnt/ like sex /at all/ with this guy. He didn't feel anything other than guilt and discomfort. That's also a right that was broken because there is a right that says that each individual has the right to the highest attainable standard of sexual health, and

that includes pleasure and safety.

Baekhyun didn't get that from his boyfriend.

Another one that is broken is the right to privacy. Baekhyun's boyfriend coaxed Baekhyun into being loud, he exposed their sexual life like he had a /right/ when Baekhyun felt uncomfortable with it.

Then comes the infidelity. I'll discuss it here because I'm not one to write infidelity amongst my characters (I did before, many years ago, but my viewpoints have changed). Either way, I feel it's important because this is also something we discussed and this class in particular

was very fulfilling because /we/, as in my classmates and I, were asked to answer a series a questions, and then we discussed the answers with the teacher.

One thing that we need to understand is that infidelity is a /choice/. No matter what justification the person that cheats

gives, the choice was /their's/, the fault is /their's/. There's always a choice (and here I add that if you are being /coaxed into cheating, that is /not/ counted as infidelity), and you can always choose not to cheat.

A person that loves another very much /can/ cheat, because

both are choices.

Let me emphasize it one more time. LOVE AND INFIDELITY ARE CHOICES.

As such, you can choose to not cheat. Period. No justification. Like you can choose to forgive, just like you can choose to love. You both /can/ choose to move forward, to get past what

happened, to rebuild the relationship and start over. This, though, takes a lot of commitment.

Either way, in this case, this doesn't apply. The boyfriend never loved Baekhyun. He was using him to fulfill his need to feel superior to someone else, to have them their deed.

Hence, he never felt guilty for cheating. If anything, he enjoyed it, he loved seeing Baekhyun pleading for him, begging to be taken back, and telling Baekhyun it was /his/ fault, or at least implying it, when it really wasn't.

At this point, Baekhyun falls into a hole and due to the work of his ex, he's left with many insecurities, the need to be loved, to feel complete, to be useful, and so he starts sleeping around. I wouldn't say he has a personality disorder, though does showcase some

characteristics of Borderline, like the effort to not be abandoned or not feel alone, some splitting, impulsive behavior, instability, and disproportioned bouts of anger. He also has very primitive defense mechanisms, like splitting, denial, and projection, though I don't think

it's BPD.

Anyway, here we see him get worse with time. He's insecure and remember that he was also emotionally abused, apart from the other types of abuse he endured. He starts also trying different substances with Sehun, though he never goes for the hard stuff, but he

likes the high occasionally, particularly from MDMA, which btw, after the effect passes, makes you feel horrible.

Meanwhile, we have Chanyeol.

Chanyeol was...something else. This man chose to love /despite/ everything and yes, that was very unhealthy. Sometimes we really have to stop and think about ourselves. It may not be mentioned, but everything happening around him, from the relationship to Baekhyun's erratic

behavior took a toll on him. He became insecure, afraid of the world, of relationship, of /love/. Yes, he chose to love because he didnt know /how/ to stop loving. Not only in a romantic way here, but also as a friend, as someone who cares deeply for someone else.

Something

that's very common amongst family or close acquaintances of people with mental illness is guilt. "Could I do something more?" "Why can't I get them out of this?" etc...and Chanyeol has that very marked (also, the Chanyeol from the Vampire King fic comes to mind with this and from

S&M too). And yes, it's perfectly normal for you to feel like you /should/ be able to do /more/ for the other, but like I said in the story many times, you can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped.

Yes, support from the people around us is vital to treat a mental

illness, but other's aren't responsible for me if I'm not willing to help myself.

With this Chanyeol, we see him feeling guilty for not doing more for Baekhyun, he says he can't leave him alone, but fails to realize that staying is hurting his mental health too.

In the end, he has his breaking point and fights Baekhyun and finally...after so much pain, after all he endured, he chose to leave and hence, he chose to stop loving Baekhyun and instead love himself.

Then years pass and we get a brief overview of their lives. Chanyeol

eventually chose to love someone else, someone who was looking for the same thing he was, someone who was willing to commit to their love the way Chanyeol was and they truly had a beautiful relationship. While I didn't plan the story and everything was a whim, as I was typing,

I /did/ imagine his relationship with his wife and it was /beautiful/. Eventually, though, they both chose not to love anymore, and while it wasn't easy, for whatever reason, they decided to stop trying with each other.

It was amicable, there was no hard conflict, no explosive

fight...the spark and drive to keep loving was simply gone, and that was okay.

Baekhyun, on the other hand, had a fallout. He had 3 suicide attempts with various methods I won't mention, had many relapses, but he was committed to get better, to love /himself/, and he made it.

And in those 23 years, he felt limerence and he chose to love Yixing, and their relationship was beautiful too, until they both chose to not love anymore, and it was okay. Just like Chanyeol and his wife, Baekhyun and Yixing ended in good terms, amicable. Yixing found someone he

chose to love and Baekhyun was happy for that.

When Baekhyun and Chanyeol meet again, there's no romantic love. Like I said in the story, they both chose not to love the other that way, though there was friendly affection and, of course, forgiveness.

As for the building of their relationship, I made a quick overview, though

now that I finished the seminar, I'm glad I mentioned them because what they did was healthy.

They discussed what each wanted from the relationship before they made it official. Couples don't do this, but they /should/ because people aren't always looking for the same

things and, along the way, you see conflicts and fights because things that could've been established from before weren't.

Then, they discussed sex before doing it. They sat down and told each other what they wanted, what they liked and disliked and /then/, when everything

was set on the table and they found a common ground, they took that step together.

And this is something important and now that I think about it, a parallel to the relationship Baekhyun had with his ex. His ex /forced/ Baekhyun into sex, abused him, disregarded his needs, his

wishes, his likes and dislikes. He never respected him. Meanwhile, Chanyeol respected Baekhyun's sexual rights, he never forced him, instead he waited patiently, he discussed everything with him.

And this is what makes their relationship work and why they can choose to love

in peace this time around.

Their relationship works because /they/ choose to work on it, they choose to love each other every day. They /always/ communicate, they always speak and discuss things. They are /hones/ and they aren't afraid to do so.

And yes, I just made myself a little emotional.

Anyway, like I did with ASITW yesterday, we'll see a couple of scenarios.

1. Both decide to speak up in high school about their feelings

Well, easy to imagine. They would choose to love and there you go. Perhaps a beautiful lasting relationship, maybe a break up during college, but reuniting some years later and things working out.

2. Baekhyun chooses to love, but Chanyeol chooses not to love

A reversed scenario, though I don't imagine Chanyeol spiraling as hard. Perhaps he would have some problematic relationships, but nothing as bad as Baekhyun's was. And yeah, maybe eventually he chooses to love

Baekhyun too, or Baekhyun chose not to love anymore and they both choose to love other people.

3. Chanyeol decides not to love and leaves

Chanyeol could've been more selfish and left at any moment, with Jisoo or some time after. In this case, Baekhyun would've most likely

realized sooner since Chanyeol was his biggest love, though not romantically.

In this case, I imagine Baekhyun leaving his ex and then working on himself before looking for Chanyeol who either moved on, or didn't. They can either choose to love each other with time or love

else.

4. Chanyeol leaves, Baekhyun falls into the hole, but doesn't make it.

Won't elaborate, but based on what I've mentioned in the thread, I'm guessing you could all guess what I mean. And yes, Chanyeol would be devastated.

5. Chanyeol never divorces, Baekhyun marries Yixing

Perhaps they would meet again, talk things out, but it would end there. Chanyeol has someone he loves and Baekhyun does too. They leave on amicable terms.

6. They meet at the park after 23 years, but never pursue a relationship

Self-explanatory. Perhaps, they didn't choose to love and instead remain as friends...or maybe not. Maybe Chanyeol wouldn't want anything to do with Baekhyun, though he would give him a chance to

explain. Cruel, but Chanyeol didn't owe Baekhyun anything, and Baekhyun always knew this.

And that's basically it. A very complex story now that I break it down hahah

Any other stories we should do this with?