So, I enjoy cooking.

I’m not especially amazing at it.

@GordonRamsay wouldn’t even spare an insult, because it wouldn’t even be worth his time.

But, I enjoy eating it, and I enjoy making filling and delicious—if a bit ugly—meals.

I’ve got a rough relationship with food.

For a very long time I’ve eaten my feelings; when I felt lonely, I would eat. It made me feel a little better for a little while. But not a long while.

I was lonely often, so I ate a lot. And not great things.

As I got bigger, I got made fun of, and I began to hate my body. And I began to hate food.

I wouldn’t eat in front of people, I would retch after I ate, I would go to the bathroom both to get away and also to try to hopefully rid myself of food.

This, of course, made it worse.

Slowly, I’ve been reclaiming my body. Loving its shape, its heft, its weight.

My workout thread is just that. https://twitter.com/benjancewicz/status/1012697567111475200?s=21

I’m forcing myself to look at myself with love at the moment where I hate my appearance most: when I work out. https://twitter.com/benjancewicz/status/1012697567111475200

This thread will be similar.

I’m posting my meals that I’m making for myself. Both for my own love of cooking, but also as a way to keep myself accountable.

Pics of food isn’t everyone’s thing, and I get that.

So thankfully you can mute this thread if you like.

So yeah. Now I’m gonna post some food I’ve been making for the past two months.