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Tenure: The COVID Edition
Congrats to all of you out there getting tenure. I hope your stressed out shoulders have moved away from your ears a bit.
This post, however, is for the folks that didn't get tenure.
Hi! It happened to me once. I wanted you to know that I see you 
Congrats to all of you out there getting tenure. I hope your stressed out shoulders have moved away from your ears a bit.
This post, however, is for the folks that didn't get tenure.
Hi! It happened to me once. I wanted you to know that I see you
I don't know your story but I know it can feel miserable.
I felt like a train going full speed and then like I slammed into a wall.
A few folks in the same position have shared publicly their advice, their reality and their insight in the tenure process.
I felt like a train going full speed and then like I slammed into a wall.
A few folks in the same position have shared publicly their advice, their reality and their insight in the tenure process.
I haven't done those things because I really don't have enough perspective at this points (lots of balls in the air currently but my lab closed/job ended in July 2019).
As a first step, I guess at the time I wish I had set up a filter to my social media better.
As a first step, I guess at the time I wish I had set up a filter to my social media better.
I was, and still am, happy when folks I know or 'Twitter-know' get tenure.
But there's a real pain as I read their posts of what I have lost. They needed my cheers far less than I needed my sanity, so I probably would have muted 'tenure' that during March-June.
How to do that:
But there's a real pain as I read their posts of what I have lost. They needed my cheers far less than I needed my sanity, so I probably would have muted 'tenure' that during March-June.
How to do that:
A lot will change. One thing that doesn't change when you don't get tenure is you don't lose chances to participate in meaningful ways to the community.
I started a non profit @metoostem I still review papers and grants, submit papers & helping folks with their science careers
I started a non profit @metoostem I still review papers and grants, submit papers & helping folks with their science careers
In my experience, I found thinking about 'what do I want my trainees to see' as a way to navigate the process helpful. I tried to keep that boundary with care and honesty.
I wanted them to know it hurt. That I was shocked and that it says nothing about their work.
I wanted them to know it hurt. That I was shocked and that it says nothing about their work.
I wanted to let my external colleagues know that there is a lot that goes into tenure that they can't look up by your H-index. To judge you or offer unsolicited advice on improving my CV is ignorant and hurtful.
I became deeply appreciative of people who didn't want to force their idea of help on me. Those that weren't going to pass my CV along or talk to a colleague. I figure there's time for that.
Having folks check in on me and ask what it was that I wanted really helped.
Having folks check in on me and ask what it was that I wanted really helped.
Sometimes I wanted someone to send me Reese Peanut Butter Cups because if someone is asking to help, and you don't know what you need, you should always ask for Peanut Butter Cups. That's just the law. I didn't make it*.
*I might have made it.
*I might have made it.
I appreciated my friends who still came to me wanting to work together even just to get my ideas and insight. It's too easy to feel like losing a job puts a big 'canceled' on your forehead. Talking science validated why I loved my career.
I'd offer that two sort of untraditional things helped me and maybe they will help you.
1) Keeping a daily gratitude journal. I write down every win every day. Some days a win is making awesome iced tea. Others it is turning in a review or revision.
1) Keeping a daily gratitude journal. I write down every win every day. Some days a win is making awesome iced tea. Others it is turning in a review or revision.
2) Quickly writing updated letters of recommendation for my trainees. It was one of the few things that felt good in early days. I didn't want my lab to close then be scrambling to put update LinkedIn recommendations or letters for post docs and continued education.
Writing updated letters of recommendation gave me a chance to show kindness to people I cared deeply about who were impacted by my being denied tenure.
It gave me a chance to reflect in a merciful and appreciative way on the work we accomplished together. It built my confidence
It gave me a chance to reflect in a merciful and appreciative way on the work we accomplished together. It built my confidence
There's great content out there than you think about tenure denial. I'm not a fan of the 'failure' verbiage that accompanies some of it.
I now realize how much the tenure process can be about really bad fits between people & environments to think it is one person's failure.
I now realize how much the tenure process can be about really bad fits between people & environments to think it is one person's failure.
Check out @hormiga https://smallpondscience.com/2013/12/16/coming-out-of-the-closet-tenure-denial-edition/ to get you started? I love the long look at tenure denial and multiple takes on what's next.
I'd also recommend therapy and career coaching. It's really hard to invest in these things when you feel broken.
I'd also recommend therapy and career coaching. It's really hard to invest in these things when you feel broken.
But I looked at it like my car got a flat and I could either push the car along, try to fix it myself or hire someone who knew what they were doing. I was in no mood or mindset to change my own tire, as it were.
Anywho. You aren't alone is an important message. I'm sorry. It sucks.
My DM are almost always open but poke me and I always will follow anyone who wants to talk.
I've got some time.
And some Reese Peanut Butter Cups.
My DM are almost always open but poke me and I always will follow anyone who wants to talk.
I've got some time.
And some Reese Peanut Butter Cups.
