RECAP OF THE LAST THREE WEEKS*
1: AMERICA: Oh my god! Coronavirus! What should we do?

CALIFORNIA: Shut down your state.

AMERICA: Wait... what? Why?

CALIFORNIA: Because 40 million people live here and we did it early, and it’s working.

OHIO: Whoa, let’s not be hasty now. The president said that this whole coronavirus thing is a democratic hoax.

CALIFORNIA: He also said that windmills cause cancer. Shut down your state.

TEXAS: But the president said that there are only 15 cases and soon there will be zero.

3: CALIFORNIA: The president can’t count to 15. Nor even spell it. Shut down your state.

NEW JERSEY: Us too?

CALIFORNIA: Yes, you guys too. Just like when Christie shut down the bridge, but it’s your whole state.