Urgent emails from CH to all the TAs:
“Family dinner in 30 minutes. Bring your own dinner. [zoom link]”
“Family dinner in 30 minutes. Bring your own dinner. [zoom link]”
I want you all to know that this full professor with an endowed chair started the family dinner zoom call in polar bear pajamas with an apron over top, and is giving helpful life advice while drinking wine and making pasta.
“Kids, (pours a healthy glass of wine) you gotta prioritize. No one gives a shit if you’re super pRoDuCtIvE during a goddamn pandemic. You gotta take care of yourselves first.”
“I mean, you gotta wonder what sort of person is able to pump out as much or more work during a GLOBAL PANDEMIC. Are they not watching the news? Are they a complete misanthrope? How are they treating their students?” (Sips wine)
“And to that point, (stirs pasta sauce) I’ve heard tell that some of my peers from other schools aren’t taking care of their students. I want you all to know that Chair and I are here for you. Shit we’ll buy you food, make sure you’re enrolled and funded through summer, name it.”
“Our department can’t run without you guys. Meanie who the hell are you texting every one of your friends is on your computer screen right now!!”
“Quick everyone tell me your weird apocalypse skill and I’ll tell you if you’re on my apocalypse team!”
Me: “My mom taught me basic wound closure when I was in middle school...”
CH: “Way to set the bar high, Meanie. Now who’s gonna open their mouth and say tHeY cAn CoOk?”
Me: “My mom taught me basic wound closure when I was in middle school...”
CH: “Way to set the bar high, Meanie. Now who’s gonna open their mouth and say tHeY cAn CoOk?”
PF: “I can deliver a foal and milk a cow and like...do other ranch-related stuff.”
CH: “Man you two are in the wrong field. You guys could be making bank and here you are fussing with statistics and shit. Nerds...”
CH: “Man you two are in the wrong field. You guys could be making bank and here you are fussing with statistics and shit. Nerds...”