Ranting here bc I can - In high school I was “pretty” enough for everyone’s attention but weirdly outcasted from every clique because I openly spoke about being queer. There was this MSA (muslim student association) group of girls who would always weirdly grill me

and exclude me from events and give me weird vibes whenever we were in a space together. I always got queer vibes off of one of them but never said anything. Today I’m randomly scrolling on facebook and I find one of the girls plug her IG handle on a desi queer forum

Saying she used to be a hijabi growing up in a conservative muslim household it was hard for her to accept her queerness and i’m happy she finally had the courage to do so but it’s like damn.. I felt so outcasted and discouraged growing up queer and muslim bc of muslims like her

and I still deal with muslims everyday sending me hate, death threats, misidentifying me. Her internalized homophobia fucked with me a lot and it just goes to show there’s so much unlearning to do.