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i'm really stressed and i should already be asleep because it's 11.30pm and i need to wake up at 8.45am. my mom is calling to a service advisor about my grandma because she's clearly depressed and lonely + she has alzheimer's.
lately she's started to doing stuff that's really dangerous but luckily nothing has happened yet because home care has arrived just in time. they visit her four times a day so the odds that they won't be there sometime are high. she cries a lot because she's lonely.
she's been telling me and my mom that she literally wants to die because no one cares about her, everybody thinks she's dumb and because she just sits inside all day without friends. she also hears voices and hallucinates maybe. it's really scary and i feel bad for her.
now because of this covid-19 we don't visit her (except i do once in two weeks because i'm doing her grocery shopping) and she doesn't realize what's going on. she thinks we don't visit her because we're too busy for her and don't care about her which is obviously not true.
back to tomorrow morning. i was supposed to go to my mom's and be there on the phone with her but she has the flu and doesn't want to risk me getting sick in case it's covid-19. the service advisor calls my mom at 9am and on the third phone there will be my grandma + home care.
we already know grandma's going to get mad at my mom because she's doing this and trying to get her more help. i'm really worried about my mom and her well-being because she takes care of grandma mostly and i can see she is tired so i'm helping the best i can.
i told my mom that now when i'm not going to be there, she can say my opinion too. it's the same as hers but maybe two relatives opinions will help grandma getting the help she needs. mom told me that she will give the service advisor my number if they want to call at me.
i said it was okay so that's why i need to wake up early. just a little worried that my grandma + home care will be on the phone also then if the service advisor calls me and i know grandma will get mad at me too and i can't handle it so i hope they won't be there if i get a call
we're having this conversation with the service advisor because if the situation is bad enough my grandma will get more help and move a floor/two down. there they always eat together, hang out, do crafting etc which would be perfect for grandma.
i remember myself crafting and painting with grandma since i was a kid and she always loved it, still does but doesn't do anything because she's depressed. i know she would love it there because she wouldn't need to be alone anymore and she'd have things to do.
i can't even remember what i've written to this thread but i just needed to write all this somewhere and get it out of me because i need to sleep and i can't. i know that me and my mom are just trying to help and i know grandma wouldn't get mad if she didn't have alzheimers.
it just still hurts when she gets mad. i adore her with all my existence. i just want to be included in this because i want to help my mom and also because home care doesn't really know anything since grandma only talks to them when she has to so their opinion is irrelevant.i
idk what i'm trying to say here. just wanted to get it out. sorry for the rant.
