1/ I did some thinking/introspective about this affliction overnight. I'm trying to "back trace" and "root cause" this introspectively in order to ameliorate it. https://twitter.com/rdodev/status/1246560725126037506

2/ Powerlessness. A deep sense that other than keeping myself and my family at home safe -- which is not a really a "power" but a self-preservation response and a privilege -- I cannot directly influence the situation or help in a direct way those suffering from #COVID2019

3/ Distrust. I have zero confidence on the local, state and federal leadership that they will do what's best for the population. I don't trust they have *our* best interests at heart and feel as if I have to be on alert to make decisions for what's best for my family.

4/ Disillusionment with markets. Seeing the Dow print a record day gain when 3 million Americans filed for unemployment. Seeing gains on the market as thousands of Americans literally succumb to the virus. Lives are valueless. Collective misery is valueless. Greed not solidarity.

5/ Changes in society. While 100% necessary seeing society go from normal to post-apocalyptic is tough to rationalize. Even farmers' market now looks more like a make-shift hospital hall than a neighborly, vibrant and friendly place to get foodstuffs.

6/ At a rational level, I can explain it and reason through it. But a fundamental, subconscious level it's affecting me to the point of being unable to sleep well, unable to focus (even writing this thread too a lot of focus effort), loss of appetite and incessant need for news