Cool cool cool stop watching Netflix at 4:30 AM and suddenly get hit with hypothetical scenarios to how your family and friends would react to and cope with your death cool I probably wouldn’t be able to give my friends the personalized goodbyes they’d deserve awesome

I’m not infected (that I know of) I just stopped watching Community and bad thoughts hit me and I’m not having a panic attack but I do feel sick idk I’ll be ok I probably just need sleep but lord almighty

“What if I suddenly get so sick I don’t have the chance to tell my friends and they just never hear from me again until one of the few who have my address write a letter through snail mail and my dad has to write them back telling them his son died that’d be Terrible.”

But my dad’s in his sixties and my grandma’s in her nineties so it’s more likely they would perish which isn’t fun to think about either and I’d honestly rather think about my own demise ok maybe this is a panic attack but a mild one compared to others I’ve had

Typing this thread to distract myself. Then going to YouTube until I doze off.

I’m fine. I’m not in any danger. No one needs to reach out and check on me or worry.

Sorry for filling your timelines with this crap, it’s just. Y’know.

I’m thankful that the last time I saw my mom in person we were on ok terms, I’ll say that.

And tho our relationship has been strained as of late, I plan on giving her the biggest hug the next time I get the opportunity.

I’m sick of this, and I’m sick of myself and my own mind coming up with scenarios and my own rambling but.

I’m not *sick*, no one I love is sick, and I’m truly fortunate/blessed/insert adjective here.

Hope you all are doing ok. That your loved ones are ok.