Thread by @mybeardedgeorge, gather round, im about to tell you a story about how something [...]

gather round, im about to tell you a story about how something happened between john and paul in the winter of 1968 that changed their relationship forever and eventually led to the beatles breakup

also known as: #WHATHAPPENEDINRISHIKESH , a thread

first of all i have to give credit to @akompodcast whose podcast series on the beatles breakup opened my eyes to this overlooked facet of beatles history and dug up a lot of this evidence!

ok so to begin we have to talk about john and paul's relationship before 1968. it's difficult to overstate how close they were in this period. they are best friends, songwriting partners, bandmates. i mean, they're fucking Lennon-and-McCartney. what more is there to say.

it's important to stress that pre-1968, john and paul love each other, understand each other, respect each other, and rely on each other personally and professionally (i have lots of quotes/evidence to back these statements up, but if ur on beatles stan twt i think u get it)

in addition, john NEEDS/WANTS to be close to the other beatles. i'm stressing this because a lot of the narrative around the breakup is that john was tired of the band or needed space. but that's just not true. look at this quote from John in Hunter Davies' biography from 1967:

cynthia: "'[The Beatles] seem to need you less than you need them...' John smiled. He agreed that it did seem to be true. 'I did try to go my own way after we stopped touring... But it didn’t work. I was never so glad to see the others. Seeing them made me feel normal again.'"

also in 1967: the beatles (john's idea!!!) make plans to buy a greek island and live there with their family/entourage?? in houses connected by tunnels?? lots to unpack here, but the important bit is that john wants the beatles to all be together--he's not getting bored of them

ok so that brings us to FEBRUARY 1968, when the beatles and their sig others go to rishikesh, india for a meditation retreat

it's basically john's greek island dream come true. the beatles and their friends/fam are living in these bungalows next to each other, isolated from the world. at first things seem to go really well! they meditate and write songs together!

john writes this really sweet song called 'child of nature' in this time (later re-written to be 'jealous guy' in 1970. read into that if you want). listen to the sweet lyrics and hopeful melody.

"i don't need much to set me free..."

CRASH CUT TO: what john's writing by the end of the retreat:

"Yes I'm lonely
Want to die
Yes I'm lonely
Want to die
If I ain't dead already
Girl you know the reason why"

"I'm so tired, I don't know what to do
I'm so tired, my mind is set on you
I wonder should I call you but I know what you would do
You'd say I'm putting you on
But it's no joke, it's doing me harm"

"Look at me
Oh, please look at me
My love
Here I am
Oh my love
Who am I?
Nobody knows but me
Nobody knows but me
Who am I?
Nobody else can see
Just you and me
Who are we?
Oh my love, oh my love"

so obviously we see a really big shift here in the tone of john's songs. he's obviously in a LOT of pain, possibly having an identity crisis, and having thoughts of suicide. so the question is: what happened??????? what caused this shift in john???????

ok now to unveil The Theory:

i think john made a romantic pass at paul in rishikesh and paul rejected him (maybe unknowingly??)

if you're not convinced at this point, it's ok, strap in, i got more evidence to prove it

so after the beatles leave rishikesh, we see a series of self-destructive actions from john.

first, he blows up his relationship with cynthia on the flight home from india by drunkenly confessing all the women he's cheated on her with

second, after being sober from lsd and hard drugs for months in rishikesh, he goes on a massive bender and is just constantly high for a while.

pete shotton (childhood friend) talks about it: "'He was more fucked up than I’d ever seen him,' Shotton remembers."

ok so in may of 1968 paul and john go to new york for a press conference. there, paul re-meets linda eastman! and according to many witnesses, there was a visible spark between the two of them that night. paul invites her to drive with them to the airport.

“The first time I saw her... I didn’t think that she was particularly attractive, I wondered what he was bothering having her in the car for. A bit too tweedy, you know. But she sat in the car and took photographs, and that was it. The next minute she’s married him" -John, (1971)

so john watches paul fall in love with linda.

the SAME WEEK paul and john get home, john gets so high that he declares he's jesus in an apple board meeting.

and that night john invites yoko ono to his house for the first time, marking the start of their relationship.

let's remember that yoko has been pursuing john for over 6 months at this point. if john's feeling rejected or undervalued by paul, it makes sense that he would turn to someone who's giving him that validation and love that he craves.

so in the summer of 68, the bealtes start recording the white album. here's what geoff emerick, the beatles' audio engineer, says about the first day back in the studio:

“‘So how was India,’ I asked. I sensed at that moment that something fundamental in them had changed. The rage that was bubbling inside John was the most obvious sign that something was wrong. There was a new tension between John and Paul.”

part of that tension might be because john has brought yoko into the studio with him. whatever your opinions on yoko, you cant deny that this fundamentally disrupts the dynamic of the band.

also pls remember that john and yoko have been dating for TWO WEEKS ONLY

here's a fun piece of audio from yoko, june 1968

https://amoralto.tumblr.com/post/40350502633/june-4th-1968-emi-studios-while-the-beatles#40350502633

"I’m sure that if [Paul] had been a woman or something, he would have been a great threat – because there’s something definitely very strong between John and Paul."

amoralto

June 4th, 1968 (EMI Studios): While The Beatles are in the middle of recording and mixing ‘Revolution 1’, Yoko Ono observes them in the adjoining room, recording her thoughts and feelings in a...

https://amoralto.tumblr.com/post/40350502633/june-4th-1968-emi-studios-while-the-beatles#40350502633

well it's a good thing pauls not a woman, huh? now you have nothing to worry about, yoko!!

on oct. 8th, paul is recording the backing vocals for john's song 'the continuing story of bungalow bill.' suddenly, john invites yoko to sing the part instead of paul and paul "gave John a look of disbelief and then walked away in disgust" (Geoff Emerick).

the next day, paul records 'why dont we do it in the road' by himself, and john is furious:

“We came in and [Paul had] made the whole record, him drumming, him playing the piano, him singing. --

-- Just because it was getting to be where he wanted to do it like that, but he couldn’t make the break from the Beatles--I don’t know what it was... I can’t speak for George, but I was always hurt when Paul would knock something off without involving us" John, (1980).

this quote betrays johns true intentions. authors often attribute john's behavior to his growing desire to leave the beatles and do avant garde art with yoko. but we see that that's not true--he wants to record songs with paul!!

he's also simply not acting like someone who's disinterested in the band. he's being weird, hostile, and confrontational, but NOT uncaring.

another john outburst happens in a meeting with bealtes and michael lindsay hogg. according to hogg, john plays a recording of him and yoko having sex with no explanation, just watching the beatles for their reactions.

... because that's a totally normal thing to do to your friends/coworkers????? bruh like. interpret this in a straight way for me please. u cant.

i think john was trying to use yoko to make paul jealous-both personally and professionally-and provoke paul to do something to prove his commitment and love to john.

is this a crazy, manipulative, and childish way to get validation? yes, but that tracks because it's john.

something happened in rishikesh that made john doubt paul's love for him, causing him to:
a) be extremely hurt
b) abuse substances to try to cope with that hurt
c) seek a new relationship
d) lord that relationship over paul to antagonize him

reminder that it's during this period that yoko introduces john to heroin and they both get hooked on it

as a sidenote: i totally get why the white album sessions were a disaster and ringo quit. like yes there was other stuff going on with the band that contributed, but can you imagine being a room with john, paul, and yoko together? the tension would have been stifling lmao

one of the really sad things about john's whole 'notice me paul' routine is that paul doesn't seem to get it At All.

here's a clip from the get back sessions (jan 1969) where paul talks about john and yoko:

"We’ve had a lot of Beatles, you know. And we’ve, and we’ve got a lot out of Beatles. So that if–I think John’s saying ‘No,’ but obviously if it came to a push between Yoko and the Beatles, it’s Yoko, y’know."

john thinks paul doesn't love him so he brings in yoko to provoke paul.

paul thinks that john is choosing yoko over the beatles, and so he backs off and gives john the space he thinks he wants.

DO YOU SEE WHAT A DISASTER THIS IS?? WHY COULDN'T YALL JUST TALK TO EACH OTHER!!!

but paul and john do not talk to each other about their feelings.

john believes that he and paul communicate best "through song. Talking is too slow."

during the get back sessions, john reacts to paul's songs as if he were speaking to john through them.

first, john hated 'let it be' and 'the long and winding road' (he badmouths them in post-breakup interviews).

both are songs about accepting new and difficult situations, moving on from the past, letting go.

on the other hand, john LOVES 'oh! darling', a song about begging a partner to stay, telling them how much it would hurt if they left.

during the get back sessions, paul and john sing oh! darling in duet instead of the solo version that ends up on abbey road.

and randomly in the middle of rehearsing the song, john takes the opportunity to announce casually to the room that yoko's divorce has gone through.

yoko had been married prior to her relationship with john. so what john essentially is saying here is that there's now nothing standing in the way of him and yoko getting married.

just in case anyone cares about that. or like wants to beg him to stay. you know.

despite this, john and yoko make no plans to get married at this time.

another paul song john loves is 'two of us' BECAUSE JOHN THINKS IT'S ABOUT HIM CHANGE MY MIND

john literally thinks paul wrote this love song about them, because look at the conversations he tries to start with paul while they rehearse the song:

https://amoralto.tumblr.com/post/39131293919/january-24th-1969-after-john-and-paul-run#39131293919 https://amoralto.tumblr.com/post/39033174665/january-24th-1969-as-john-and-paul-discuss-their

amoralto

January 24th, 1969: As John and Paul discuss their vocal arrangement for ‘Two Of Us’, John wryly points out the queerness in having them share lead vocals on a love song. Paul, undeterred, suggests...

https://amoralto.tumblr.com/post/39131293919/january-24th-1969-after-john-and-paul-run#39131293919

"It’s like you and me are lovers."

YOU CAN'T MAKE THIS SHIT UP.

what's very sad tho is that paul later says that 'two of us' is about linda and how they would go on drives in the countryside.

post breakup, john says this about 'two of us': "It had nothing to do with me. It's about Linda."

which is such an odd thing to say about a song your bandmember wrote? like is paul not allowed to write a song about his wife-to-be??

on march 12th, 1969, paul and linda get married.

john and yoko have been legally able to get married for over 2 months now, but have made no plans to do so. we know they haven't made any plans because 2 days after paul's wedding, john and yoko are scrambling to get married.

john and yoko try to get married on a boat on the 14th, they fly to paris on the 16th and try to get married there but were not allowed to legally. so they fly to gilbraltar and are finally married there on march 20th.

eight days after paul marries linda.

to me, it's really hard to interpret this in a platonic way. like, who reacts this way to a friend getting married? it's so blatant, i don't understand why more people don't talk about this part of john and paul's story.

in 1971, john scribbled over a beatles photo book. on the page with paul and linda's wedding photos, he crossed out "wedding" and wrote "funeral."

again, not sure how to interpret this platonically.

there's also the time during the abbey road sessions that paul called the studio to say that he wasnt coming in because it was his and linda's anniversary. in response, john ran from the studio to pauls house and climbed over the gate??????? to yell at paul?????

finally, here's a quote from philip norman's "john lennon: the life." i wouldnt quote him normally bc i hate this book but it sums up what i've been getting at really nicely:

1/3 “Indeed, John’s wounded anger was more that of an ex-spouse than ex-colleague, reinforcing a suspicion already in Yoko’s mind that his feelings for Paul had been far more intense than the world at large ever guessed. From chance remarks he had made,

2/3 "she gathered that there had even been a moment when, on principle that bohemians should try everything, that he (John) had contemplated an affair, but had been deterred by Paul’s immovable heterosexuality."

3/3 "‘I knew there was something going on there,’ she remembers, ‘from his point of view, not from Paul’s. And he was so angry at Paul, I couldn’t help but wondering what it was really about.’”

john's anger after the breakup is so intense and lasts for so long--and why? what did paul do to him? it's never made sense to me, and it's only after i looked at their relationship from this point of view that i finally felt like i understood what went wrong between them.

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