Sometimes I hum hymns. They have a lot of childhood sentiment to me and also a lot of those melodies slap. Today I was humming one and my brother was like “ooo you feeling the spirit?” I was like “no, it’s just sentimental.” He insisted that me humming meant I “felt something”

In reality, they have the same significance to me as Twinkle Twinkle Little Star or Santa Clause. Me signing those songs does not mean I believe Santa is real or that wishing on a star will make my dreams come true. They’re just songs. They don’t mean anything.

But I hate how everything I do is taken as a sign that I still “feel the spirit.” I hate being under that lense of a microscope, that I can’t even neutrally enjoy something religious from my childhood.

Being raised Mormon is a deep cultural experience, and leaving Mormonism also means disavowing you’re entire culture. It’s a terrifying thing that leaves you very lost and alone, and it alienates you even more when people don’t let you neutrally enjoy even a hymn.

Mormons, please chill on the microscoping. Just let us connect with our childhoods without assuming we’re coming back to church. It’s really exhausting & makes us even more angry. Y’all complain about us “leaving but not leaving it alone” but y’all won’t even let us enjoy a hymn

It’s just really exhausting. Please stop. I’m never coming back, but I’m gonna hum Come Thou Fount. Deal with it.