I did a long thread under this, but it for jumbled. So this is the repaired version. I may delete the others later if no one has liked it. #RelationshipAdvice #marriage https://twitter.com/pearlfectten/status/1245731989677842432

I'm with all of the systemic responses related to women's liberty & safety. I will add that expectations have changed about what makes a good partner (regardless of sex/uality).

I lost the original article I got this opinion from but, in the past, we just had to do less for our life partners to be satisfied with us. Relationships were, to put it simply, more compartmentalized.

There are a lot of different roles we play across our communities: friend, lover, parent, mentor, counselor, confidant, coconspirator, business partner, therapist, voice of reason, shoulder to lean on, etc.

In the past, people didn't expect their partners to be ALL of the above. Now we do. We've romanticized the idea that our perfect partner is, well, perfect, & forget that cuts both ways.

So, now, we have expectations of, like, 60% lover satisfaction, 80% therapist, 5% mentor, 90% business partner, etc. but what if your partner NEEDS different percentages? How many of us prepare ourselves to give more of something than we really need to take?

Most importantly, why should anyone HAVE to be ALL of that? Shouldn't our friends do some of that work? Being all things to just 1 person is taxing. Become a parent, and you have to be almost all of that, at higher levels, for every child as well.

Simply put, we fail our partners for years b/c we ain't ready, developing scars along the way, & then we burn out. After that, we learn better or needs & chase better partnerships OR we look for someone easier (I'm lookin at YOU, men who chase much younger women).

The article basically said that, by developing deeper, more intimate friendships, we can unburden our partners. After that, you just have to relax the need for control and let your partner turn to their friends for support.

Clarifier: That wasn't meant to give weakass low EQ busters permission to punt all the emotional labor to their partner's friends. You still gotta do work, you just shouldn't be doing all of it alone.

The system has changed the circumstances of women for the better, but that has also changed the way we imagine love itself. Anyway, I'ma watch this thread. I hope there are more great insights in here. Hope y'all all find the realest love someday if you haven't already.