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The August 1984 issue of Essence magazine featured a column by none other than my dad. I remember when the piece came out, but hadn’t seen it in a couple of decades. Purchased a copy of the magazine off Ebay; I’m glad I did. This one-page column changed my dad’s life.
Back then, Essence had a column called Say Brother to offer their black female readership a black male’s perspective. Different columnist every month. My dad was asked to write a column, & wrote about his dating life. He was a 35-year-old single dad who saw his kid on weekends.
After struggling to make ends meet as a music writer (mostly for Billboard) in the 1970s, my dad was at the height of a music business career that took off after he helped Kurtis Blow become the first rapper to sign with a major label & penned several of his early hits.
So, after having no money for years, my dad now was living more comfortably than he ever had. Which gives context to the opening two paragraphs of his column.
I’m the (now much older) son he mentions here in the middle of explaining how he has a romantic side (which he called Little Robert) & cynical side (Big Robert) that are always in conflict.
A few weeks after the magazine hit newsstands, my dad got a call from Essence telling him he had mail. Turns out, my dad got dozens of letters from women all over the country who were interested in dating him! Something that seemed unfathomable in the pre-dating app world.
So, my dad spent much of the next several months corresponding with & dating these women, traveling to other cities to meet them in a few instances. A few came to NYC, including one who showed up with a friend of hers for my dad’s roommate (roommate didn’t mind at all).
My dad met both his 2nd & 3rd wives through the Essence column. He moved to the DC area for his 2nd wife, where my sister was eventually born. That marriage ended after 3 years, & he reconnected with the woman who became his 3rd wife (they’d dated briefly before he met Wife #2)
My dad & his 3rd wife have been together now for more than 30 years. She recently told me that she still has the first letter my dad wrote to her.
Since a few have asked, here is my dad’s column in its entirety.
