If Billy Crystal hosted #WrestleMania (a thread):

“This Wrestlemania is Too Big For One Night…they said the same thing about Milton Berle.”

“Despite no fans being let in the building, WWE is still claiming they’ve set a new indoor attendance record.”

“This year’s Wrestlemania is pirate-themed, because so many people stream it illegally.”

“To replicate the live stadium experience, some of you at home will see a giant pole in the middle of your screen.”

“Since there’s no Wrestlemania Axxess this year, if you send me a video of you standing for 4 hours, I’ll send you back an autographed picture of Tony Atlas.”

“Rob Gronkowski’s pastimes include setting off the Lunk Alarm at Planet Fitness.”

“This Boneyard Match is gonna be vicious. I heard the winner has to reach into a tiger’s mouth and pull out a Limp Bizkit CD.”

“I just heard Tom Hanks has signed on to start in a new biopic called It’s A Beautiful Day In The Firefly Funhouse.”

“Has anybody seen my animatronic tarantula?”