Parents! I have important news! My kid asked if he could dig a hole in the backyard and I sort of grunted so he took that as a yes and he hasn’t bugged me for AN HOUR. A whole hour!
The lawn is ruined forever but, hey, an hour is an hour. This counts as a win.

Oh. I had hopes he was developing an interest in archaeology but he just shouted through the window that he’s “looking for drugs”.
Whatever. It’s still wholesome parenting.

Update: extremely muddy child has returned from his excavations. He found nothing but is content. @Shazia_Donachie emerged from a nap and reacted in horror at the mess.
This has been a massive success.

Further update: the hole is now a trap, complete with spikes. I continue to stand by my earlier decisions.