If end of life discussions are triggering or upsetting to you, please skip this thread.

For several years I worked as a hospice social worker & grief counselor for hospice families & the general public in several counties w/more cattle than people.

It was always an honor & sacred moment to bear witness to a death. I got used to end of life discussions & other things many people find distressing to speak about.

( Heard in a training, "Americans think death is optional." Source unknown to me.)

One reason I think this was comfortable work for me was based on how my first encounter w/ losing a loved one was handled.

I was nearly 8 when my paternal grandmother, who had always lived a half mile away from our place, died from cancer.

I remember my strong rancher daddy holding me close as we sat on an old wooden box under a tree. I sobbed out how much I didn't want Grandma to be dead.

Dad didn't try to cheer me up or explain it away. I remember him holding me close as his tears fell w/ mine. Genuine presence

Started thinking about that when I really meant to address end of life wishes in this thread...

Tomorrow we are having a sisters' summit virtually with my elderly mom listening in.

I have my 5 wishes filled out and my will drafted as I know what a gift that can be to family.

My understanding is that ~ 17% of COVID-19 patients who are on vents actually recover. No one can perfectly predict who will survive being on a ventilator from this.

Does anyone have thoughts they are willing to share about how this virus is impacting their end of life wishes?

P.S. In my experience, families who lose a loved one to illness fare much better in bereavement if the patient talked about their wishes & plans in advance.

If your family refuses to listen, write it down. They will likely be grateful later.

Put together your financial/personal/medical info & write a will. Inc the info needed for an obituary. Walk your spouse or executor through it all.

I noticed how lack of planning added an additional burden to unprepared families in the fog of grief.

Thankfully, my mom has all her documentation and planning done! It will be a gift.

Talking about death does not cause death.

Grace and peace in these troubled times.