"There will be death," says Trump, before launching into an attack on unspecified media outlets (that he says he could name but for some reason declines to do so) who are inciting panic by publishing some sort of unspecified claims. These media outlets are "so bad for the world."

"Looks like New York is going to be hit hard," says Trump, before launching into an attack on New York for requesting "40,000 ventilators," and insists they could not possibly need that many.

Trump claims that New York is falsely inflating the number of ventilators it needs: "Sometimes when they know they don't need it, they want it anyway. It gives them that extra feeling of satisfaction."

"We have to open our country again. We have to open our country again. We don't want to do this for months and months. ... We have to open our country again. ... We have to open our country again."

Trump then reads a list of "great leaders of sport" who also want it opened.

Trump says he is using the DPA beautifully with companies, even if he doesn't have to use it, because "the threat of it is usually enough."

Trump then notes he will use the DPA as "retaliation" against companies that don't do what he thinks they should do.

Trump: "We have to stop playing this game. If a governor says they want 200 ventilators, and then we send 1,000," the governors then run to the media to whine that they didn't get what the needed, because that's how politics works.

(Trump is just making things up, obviously.)

There is a lot of noticeable slurring today.

Trump says that we have "29 million" doses of hydroxychloroquine, Trump's favorite but completely unproven miracle cure. He says he called India's PM this morning and asked India to ship us their hydroxychloroquine, because they have a lot.

[insert Trump's usual rant on 'we had the greatest economy in the world and then one day they came to me and said we had to shut it down, can you believe that, we weren't made to be closed we need to open soon and we'll open strong like you wouldn't believe']

In the space of ~60 seconds, Trump says:

"We have a lot of unity developing that a lot of people didn't believe it was possible to develop unity like this."

"Something no one could have ever projected."

"Nobody's ever seen anything like that."

"Things no one even thought of."

Dr. Fauci is up now, and is talking about 'the return to normalcy.' He says that we're going to see deaths continue to go up, but that "at the same time we may be seeing an increase in deaths" we should focus instead on new cases, which is a better metric.

Dr. Fauci started off as if he was going to be talking about the plan for reopening / drawing down social distancing measures. He never actually specifically got to that part of the speech, though, and instead emphasized the importance of social distancing.

Trump claims that some states have "natural distancing," because they are spread out, so there's no need for them to adopt social distancing measures the same way other states are.

This briefing, Trump is clearly back to his single-minded focus on getting back to normal.

Trump is avoiding giving a specific date this time around, but he's basically giving the speech as last week when he wanted to "open everything" by April 12.

He says a restaurant owner called him to complain about the social distancing, and Trump assured him it'd be over soon.

"As you know, I want the governors to be running things."

The only unifying theme of Trump's coronavirus response is his insistence on taking whatever measures do the most to minimize his own responsibility for any part of it.

Trump is finally asked about his firing of Atkinson. Trump eagerly launches into an attack on Atkinson for the terrible job he did, and his efforts to help remove him from office. "He took this terrible inaccurate whistleblower report, and took it to congress."

"Where's the informer, where's the informer," Trump keeps repeating. I am not sure what he's referring to -- "the informer" is not the whistleblower, and Trump suggests that it may have been Schiff, who is "a corrupt politician."

On his decision to fire IG Atkinson: "That's my decision. I have the absolute right."

He then attacks the whistleblower and says "someone should sue his ass off." A bunch of scary, incoherent nonsense.

The President takes a break from admitting openly to committing impeachable offenses, and moves to attacking New York for asking and asking for so much. He says that while the governor of California has been "very gracious," the NY governor "can't quite get the words out."

Again, Trump just announced that he fired the IG for following the law, and that he has the absolute right to fire any IG who notifies Congress of anything that Trump doesn't want Congress to be notified about.

This is dictator shit 101. https://twitter.com/markknoller/status/1246544160364146688

Drink every time Dr. Birx says "triangulation."

Trump is asked about reports of sailors who, after the removal of Captain Crozier, have expressed concern about reenlisting out of fear that their superiors won't protect them, and asked what he'd say to those sailors: "Well I don't much about it."

"I thought it was terrible what he did. To write a letter?" Trump says angrily. He says Captain Crozier should have called instead, and so he agreed with his removal.

In other words, no commander should ever do anything to protect military members if it will embarrass Trump.

Trump, practically snarling, says that "3M should treat our country well, and if they don't, they will have a hell of a price to pay."

Republicans love it when he does this dictator shit.

For the third or fourth time today, Trump throws out bizarro, unsubstantiated medical claims, suggests it's going to be a total game changer, and then quickly reverses himself by saying, "Maybe it's true, maybe it's not, you should investigate it."

Trump, stuck on loop: "We have to get back, we have to get back. Remember that. We have to get back. And we have to get back soon."

All of this is fundamentally boring because nothing Trump says has any factual content. Everything he says is subject to reversal on a moment's notice with no explanation given, or with even an acknowledgment that there was a change.

And no one else up there provides much in the way of information, either. Dr. Birx has Pence's skill for saying lots while saying nothing at all, and Dr. Fauci's comments are almost always brief and hyper-focused on whatever subject he's been authorized to address that day.

"You can say what you want about young, medium-aged... plenty of them are dying too. ... They go in, it's like, it's like a war." Honestly I have no idea what sentiment Trump was trying to express there.

"Mitigation does work, but again, we're not going to destroy our country. We have to get back." Trump claims that the mitigation will ultimately kill more people than coronavirus could.

Trump threatens to say fuck it to the stay-at-home orders, and just let what happens happen: "At a certain point, some hard decisions are going to have to be made."

A functional democracy would not tolerate a president who declares "over the next week and two weeks, it's going to be a very very deadly period unfortunately" while in the same briefing threatening companies, attacking reporters, and demanding governors be more gracious to him.

Trump seems to think that pandemics have a single peak, and once you get to the top, you're just coasting the rest of the way down. $20 bucks says Trump is going to try to reopen everything the second we hit *a* peak. https://twitter.com/W7VOA/status/1246553681933279235

"One of the reason I keep talking about hydroxychloroquine," Trump says, is.... I have no idea what he was just talking about. Like twenty vague buzzwords in a row. "I hope hydroxychloroquine wins," he says. "Hydroxychloroquine. Try it. If you like."

Oh jesus fucking christ.

Trump, on this completely unproven drug that he has become fixated on as the cure to everything: "If this drug works, it will be – not a game changer, because that's not a nice enough term. It will be wonderful, it will be so beautiful, it will be a gift from heaven if it works."

Trump claims that there is "very strong, very powerful testing" going on of passengers on domestic flights. A reporter follows up: "I talked to the airlines and they have no idea what you're talking about." Trump responds, "Okay well then check up again," and moves on.

Trump says we're coming up to a "horrendous time," and "we're getting to a point" where lots of people will die. "I really believe we probably have never seen anything like these kinds of numbers. Maybe during the war... during a world war... a World War I or II or something."