'Dan Hodges looks like an abandoned cupboard, with eyes, on August Bank Holiday, hooting at buildings.'
'Dan Hodges looks like a bank manager's tricycle, which has recently been stolen by a policeman's bees.'
'Dan Hodges looks like someone's parkkeeper, spitting crumbs of biscuits through an ex-wife's electric fence.'
"Dan Hodges looks like a bewildered goalkeeper who has recently been moved by the council after an incident in Richard Shops."
'Dan Hodges looks like an elephant's kite after a fierce bout of drizzle.'
'Dan Hodges looks like a Charlie Brooker tribute act but just throwing nouns around carelessly in the vain hope of causing humour.'
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