Percy is the Weasley that should have died and THAT IS A HILL MY LIFE WILL EXPIRE UPON.

Hagrid. This kid JUST LEARNED ABOUT MAGIC and you just leave him a train station without as much as a “cheerio” ?! MY DUDE.

Baby Hermione’s sass is FOREVER. A MOOD.

I remember this and laugh every time kids are sorted

MCGONAGALL IS MY FAVOEITE CHARACTER. MAD FLEX ON THAT ANIMAGUS STATUS. THREATEN TO TRANSFIGURE ONE OF THEM KIDS INTO A MAP. YES.

Alan Rickman (R.I.P. sweet angel) was too good as Snape. I hate Snape and everything he did. But I love Alan Rickman.

I’m still not 100% confident that Seamus was really good enough to be at Hogwarts. Like.... how many things do you have to blow up before we start looking at private tutoring over boarding school?

Oliver Wood. Bless you.

There are 2 Prefects per house right? Why not have 1 at the front and 1 at the back of the line of kids so that way none of the little snots could RUN OFF TO TRY AND TAKE DOWN A MOUNTAIN TROLL WITH ONE (1) SPELL

House points are so made up. -5 points for trying to take on a troll as a first year. WHA?????

“For sheer dumb luck!”

10/10 from McGonagall

ALSO McGonagall buying HP the Nimbus 2000. WHAT A MOVE. I’m forever headcanoning Minerva McGalleon McGonagall from @binge_mode and it has improved my quality of HP enjoyment significantly.

I genuinely love listening to my boyfriend (a sports fan) rag on Quidditch for the rules because I (a non sports fan) would never have noticed half of it

“HOW does a like 14 year old get the quarrel to bounce off the back of a broom like that?!”

“A game this dangerous, but no subs. Ya THAT makes sense”

The music in these is honestly the soundtrack of my some of my favorite memories and it just... it’s so dumb but it always brings me home

I MEANT TO SAY QUAFFLE BEFORE. DAMN YOU AUTOCORRECT. YOU SHOULD KNOW THIS TERMINOLOGY BY NOW YOU UNGRATEFUL COW

This school has like 20 thestrals but Hagrid has to drag the Christmas tree in from the Forbidden Forest (?) all by himself. Why.

Things I don’t care about: chess

Things I wish I could play: wizard’s chess

THE FACT THAT HARRY HAS NEVER BEFORE RECEIVED PRESENTS

Ugh. The mirror. You get kicked in the stomach for Harry and then punched in the mouth for Ron. UGHHHHHHH

The amount of Big and Poignant quotes throughout this series are just *chef’s kiss*

THE SQUEAL FROM BABY NORBERT(TA). AYYHHHHHHHHH

Rip Draco’s cute little nugget speech impediment

It cannot be overstated that bringing first years into the *FORBIDDEN* FOREST and sending two of them off with only a DOG a like four (4) spells was MAYBE NOT THE BEST IDEA ?!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“Sumthin’s huntin’ down tha purest creature to grace tha earth. Off ya go ta find the poor depraved beast. I won’t teach yeh ta send up any red sparks from yer wand neither. Cheers!”

That’s a pretty good Hagrid impression if I do say so m’self

Slytherin gets a bad rap. Ya the baddies may have come from there, but has anyone documented how many wizarding advances came from Slytherin ambition and networking????

Fluffy was just DOING HIS JOB. He is a VERY GOOD BOY. 10/10

Ron’s post-Devil’s Snare “lucky we didn’t panic!” is my entire quarantine vibe

WHY DIDNT WE GET TO SEE HERMIONE SOLVE THE POTIONS RIDDLE!!!!

THAT WAS THE BEST PART!!!!!

JUSTICE FOR HERMIONE!!!!

Remember that time Harry straight up murdered his DADA professor and we just like.... never really discussed that? Or like the trauma HP would have lived with? I’m sure it’s fine.

Look. I’m all for Gryffindor winning the house cup. But like.... really Dumbledore? We had to do a bunch of kids dirty like this? No wonder they all betrayed Hogwarts in the last book????? HOUSE POINTS ARE MADE UP.

But the best played game of chess always gets me

Do I start the second one?

Ok it has to wait. I need to see the outdoors for a bit before my body molds to the couch so you all get a brief respite from my particular brand of insanity.

GUYS.

IT IS TIME.

#JennaQuarantweetsHP

I will tweet this particular sentiment a million more times- but the MUSIC in this

Vernon and Petunia Dursley were just SO WELL CAST

Dobby has always simultaneously freaked me out and annoyed me. Like I get that he’s endearing..... but no thanks

But also Harry smacking Dobby’s head as he runs by to try and catch the cake thing .... dude???????????

THE WEASLEYS TO THE RESCUE. Ugh the whole damn family is up for sainthood.

Percy doesn’t count because he’s dead to me.

Also the Ford Anglia is NOT quiet in the movies. Someone tell me how TWO v attentive mothers (Molly and Petunia) didn’t hear it???

If I actually had magic I would be so excited to never have to clean again. SO. EXCITED. TO. NEVER. CLEAN. AGAIN.

“Where HAAAVE you BEEN?!”

Julie Walters. An ICON

Also M A R K W I L L I A M S !!!!!!!

Why do we not give Harry better instructions? First the train, then floo powder. Like, let’s cut the kid some slack and explain things for more than 22 seconds

HARRY THERE IS OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING AND SKULLS IN JARS. DON’T TOUCH THINGS YOU SCRUFFY HAIRED MORON??????

Ok so Molly. I know you said you hoped Harry had only gone one grate too far.... but also NONE OF YOU WERE LOOKING FOR HIM

My highschool English teacher HATED me but LOVED Kenneth Branagh so even though I was predisposed from the books to hate Lockhart....... I r e a l l y hate Lockhart.

Hearing Draco spit out “POTTER” is just *chef’s kiss*

Honestly I still quietly ship Dramione and I’m not sorry about it.

Harry and Ron running into the column SLAYS me. Ron just FLIPS over his trolley and

“Wow. I can’t get through the column. I could wait 10-15 min for the adults that cared for me and never led me astray to come back...

Or I can fly my dad’s car across a country and just...... never think anything through in my life.” - Ron Weasley

Ron’s squeaky fear speaks to my very soul throughout this entire film

The Ford Anglia just NOPES outta there so hard. We Stan a strong, confident vehicle that won’t take no shit no more

Argus Filch. ALSO top notch casting.

Snape: “EXPELL THE BUFFOONS”

McGonagall: ok so he makes a point and Weasley isn’t like a huge asset to the house but Potter is my Seeker and I just bought him that broom so

THE FIRST TWO MOVIES WERE SO GOOD. THEY TRIED SO HARD TO FIT IN EVERYTHING EVEN IF IT WAS SUBTLE. I MISS THEM SO MUCH.

OWLS DESERVE BETTER. Hedwig is kept in a cage basically all the time and Errol is worker BASICALLY UNTIL DEATH

Howlers are so cool. 10/10 well done in the movies.

“Freshly caught Cornish Pixies. Let’s see what you make of them.”

Aka every time my college riding team brought in a new horse they found out in a field

Lucius buying the whole Slytherin Team Numbus 2001s is straight UP the horse world in a nutshell. MAD FLEX YA DICK.

The films trying to make Emma Watson’s hair puffy is ..... painful.

This whole sequence of events is just ridiculous.
-Harry hears a voice discussing blood and death
-Spiders leaving in droves
-Hermione happens to know that what could be red paint is blood

AND WE JUST KIND OF TAKE THIS ALL IN STRIDE.

RON. ASK A QUESTION AT ANY POINT.

Hermione, the brightest witch of her age, in the middle of class, WHICH SHE LOVES: “can you tell us about the chamber of secrets”

HERMIONE. SHE PROBABLY HAS OFFICE HOURS. JUST WAIT.

RIP OLIVER WOODS BROOM. Does McGonagall buy him a new one?????

Harry’s noodle arm. OMG.

Madam Pomfrey is an unsung hero. She deserves the world’s BEST retirement ..... far far away from children.

“Scared, Potter?”

“You wish.”

I C O N I C

Yknow a lot of the problems Harry faces would be solved with communication. Like. Just telling everyone that he’s a Parslemouth and that he was telling the snake not to eat Justin? Idk. It’s an idea.

FAWKES JUST TURNING TO ASH. I would have screamed.

The scene around Christmas with the white horses pulling sleighs. No one told the director about Thestrals?????????

Crabbe and Goyle eating cupcakes floating in the hallway is a combo of “guys wtf” but also “ya same”

I’m still bummed we never see the Hufflepuff Common Room. I just imagine tea kettles, lots of plush seating, reading nooks by well-lit windows, and fresh bread 24/7

Harry:
- writes in a journal that writes back
- decides to find out nothing more
- agrees to magic he can’t understand
- does this alone without telling anyone

I will never understand how this child didn’t die a million times

*cue Hermione being petrified meme*

Lucius with his hair tied back with the ribbon gives me serious Gaston vibes

Again with going into the Forbidden Forest. This time they maybe know 8 spells??? And no adult knows where they are????? BOYS. DO BETTER.

How did Aragog..... have a family? He’s a boy? ? ?

THERE. ARE. TOO. MANY. SPIDERS.

The Ford Anglia is a true friend. I hope it’s having a good day

Ok. Snape calling out Lockhart is CLUTCH. He did one good thing. But even a blind squirrel finds nuts sometimes.

Ron just.... clunking Lockhart on the head with a rock. WHAT? Why was that your first instinct?????

Chamber of Secrets, still mad cool looking.

Poor bby Ginny first year of school is scary enough. Kid didn’t deserve this

Tom Riddle reveal, SO cool with the burning letters. Bruh had flash.

But also how many dumb versions did he go through before Lord Voldemort stuck?

HI FAWKES THANK GODRIC YOURE HERE!

What’s this, boy? Oh, a hat?

Fawkes? WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

What the...? FAWKES I ONLY KNOW 3 SPELLS AND ONE OF THEM REPELS SPIDERS. FAWKES COME BACK

Rewatching the HP v Basilisk fight Harry just wildly swinging Godric’s sword like kids swinging sticks. Fantastic effort and athleticism.

BEST LINE OF THE MOVIE:

“Amazing! This is just like magic!”

Dumbledore- hey go look at the sword you used

Harry - grabs sword BY THE BLADE

Again. HOW has he survived this long?

LUCIUS ABOUT TO CAST A KILLING CURSE ON SCHOOL GROUNDS. YA OK. GOOD TRY, DIRECTORS. WE GET IT. YOU DIDNT READ THE BOOKS.

“Just promise me something. Never try to save my life again.”

Fbdjwkjahaha Hermione running to hug her boys always gets me straight into the feels.

And then Ron. Is Ron.
Sigh.

Hermione and Harry’s friendship is so pure and good and needs to be protected at all times.

SPROUT AND POMFREY. DREAM TEAM. I wonder if they were together? I literally just thought of that but now I’m headcanoning it. It’s a real thing now.

“Some ruddy bird called Errol”

WHY DID WE SEND THE OWL WITH DIMENTIA WHEN HEDWIG BARELY GETS TO FLY EVER ???

DIMENTIA? Dementia? Ugh. You get what I mean. Autocorrect fails me when I get into all caps mode.

It’s like YEAH GIRL GO OFF. KILLED THAT POINT. YAS QUEEN. Wait. Did she just- ope. Too late now, she’s on a roll so just let it happen

And the end of the second movie.