how I stopped feeling suicidal as a young muslim: a thread of advice and the things I did to help me:

1. I felt very far from الله رب العزة so the first thing I knew I needed to do was implement prayer. Prayer, reading Quran often, trying to say astaghfirullah a lot more. There was a point in my life I would say it over 400 times before I slept. It made me feel less anxious.

- I came to realise that this is just one part of my life in which الله رب العزة is testing me in, he doesn’t hate me and he didn’t forget me/ it’s just a test - and that perhaps I didn’t want my entire life to end, just life as I knew it (in that period of time)

2. After building a relationship with Allah ﷻ, things had started to look up, but I was still feeling unsure. I knew I needed to trust him more, and this was something I learnt over time. I often used to cry solely to him, in my room. This helped massively, because only he knew-

-what I was feeling, as opposed to me just keeping it inside all the time. I also became more interested in naseeha videos and lectures, which used to make me quite happy.

I often used to imagine that Allah ﷻ was standing right next to me as I walked, dealt with my issues, slept, whatever I did - so when I felt my worst and felt scared and angry, it was like Allah ﷻ was right there

3. Then, I started to make changes in my life. I changed my friendship circle, as it wasn’t good for me at the time, I left my secondary school for a new college, I started learning to cook and clean - cleaning & being productive decluttered my mind

4. I stopped allowing myself to laze around and have nothing to do. I kept myself busy and practiced positive affirmations every morning and night. It was life changing - I trusted myself and my emotions a lot more

5. I read a lot about paradise and the rewards that lie with Allah ﷻ - I figured, if this life and dunya makes my heart hurt so much, surely I don’t want to experience that even after my death? So I began striving for Jannah because I had enough, سبحان الله

6. I began therapy - for my anxiety, which was a massive help. Speaking to someone is a MUST, and can allow you to receive the correct form of help to drive you in the direction of healing as opposed to hurting.

7. I used to be so hurt; that if I had anything attached to had memories I had to let it go. Clothes, areas, people - I had to leave them behind me. Which I don’t recommend. Learn to tell yourself that if you’re making it through everyday, you’re winning اللهم بارك

Remind yourself that if الله رب العزة didn’t love you or see potential in you, he never ever would test you. He’d let you live as you are. He is watching over you and the angels are by your side, you’re never alone and that is comforting!

All the praise is due to الله رب العزة - I know I still have GAD, but all I can do is thank him ENDLESSLY for not allowing me to fall back in that dark place. Feeling like that for 5-6 years really had it’s impact on me, but it’s all thanks to his glory that I am here.

There isn’t a manual to healing. I can’t tell you to get better and you can’t force yourself into it either. But implement the deen and persevere, you will be okay time is a healer