1) Day of whatever-it-is of isolation:
I started having conversations with inanimate objects, and here is what I have learned. Don't get started with the toilet paper, it just won't shut up like it's on a roll or something.

2) The knives, while they may not be the sharpest tools, can sure make some blunt remarks. I tried to have a discussion with my desk, but it keeps tabling everything. Same with the chairs, I can't talk to them about anything, they just want me to sit on it.

3) The AC just wanted to vent. The refrigerator freezes up anytime I open up about my feelings. The stove swings widely between being hot and cold about things. The cabinets seem unhinged.

4) The kettle is not much of a conversationalist either; it got upset at me the other day for calling it black and just keeps whistling the same old tune.

5) The doors don't seem to be open to talking; I have discovered, however, that they are quite capable of changing subjects, for instance - ajar. The mirror needs a lot of time to reflect; it can't be rushed, it will just say "I'll look into it."

6) Now the lights, well, they seem to be quite turned on by me, so that is promising. Also, things did get a little steamy with the shower after I told it it was hot.

7) Oh, and I did try to ask tequila out the other night during a power outage, it was a shot in the dark. I will keep you all posted.

I hope this thread brought a smile to your face. Hang in there.