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1/20 I have a close family friend. So close, that blood couldn’t make us any closer. In fact we all called him baby brother. We’ve been inseparable since middle school.
2/20 We did the same activities. We lived streets away from eachother. Our houses were literally an open door policy. If he saw a car in the driveway, it was always “let me stop by and see what everyone’s up to.” I would tell my mom “yo, I’m about to walk to X’s house.”
3/20 We both were on the debate team. So we traveled a lot together for school. I was captain—Kids complained that I treated him special. I did. Outside of debate, he was also very athletic. So we went to every type of game he had.
4/20 Starting college (I moved to NC), I started missing out on more things. His prom, his tournaments. He signed to an Ivy League for football, and I missed signing day. And soon it was the same for him as he went to college. But we’d come home for breaks and live it up.
5/20 Some summers I didn’t come home (taking pre-med courses, internship, etc). Then I came home for some post-back courses and grad school. He’d come home after graduating as well. Everything was back to normal.
6/20 We both got busy. He was in finance. I was in science, and applying to medical school. He was finally moving to LA for work and I remember crying because it was my little brother getting his first career job.
7/20 Shortly before I began med school he had a traumatic brain injury. Someone found him on the street unconscious/bleeding. His body was foreign to us all. He was a 6’4, pure muscle, charismatic person. Now he was voiceless, dependent, helpless. But we were happy he survived
8/20 Over the last 3 years he was taken care of. Everytime I came home, I saw him. Talked to him. Showed him pictures, videos, replayed songs. And the best thing about it was that he was improving.
9/20 He knew who I was. Remembered songs we play over and over. Could recall facts before his TBI. Slowly eating on his own, maneuvering his electric chair. He had bad days, even months. I would call to stop by “Rita, today’s not a good day”. But he was making steady progress.
10/20 2 days ago, his sister calls me. Which I knew was weird because we’re a FaceTime-typa family.
The combination of possibly aspirating food followed by seizure left him pulseless. And unresponsive to 30 minutes of CPR.
The combination of possibly aspirating food followed by seizure left him pulseless. And unresponsive to 30 minutes of CPR.
11/20 I was screaming at her. “What are you saying!? What are you saying!?” I already knew the answer because she had told me to sit down. He had passed away.
12/20 I’m sharing this story because these are unforeseen events that not only happened while I was in medical school, but during the biggest pandemic I’ll probably know during my lifetime.
13/20 We had been released from clinical duties and all my classmates drove home. But I stuck around because being an out-of-state student meant home required a 1hr30min trip to the airport, in a city thats a growing hub for COVID.
14/20 After the phone call, I packed my bags. At 2am I got on the road and drove straight home. 18hrs in one shot. When I finally laid down, I cried the whole night.
15/20 Another reason for this thread is to highlight something that I’ve always told premed students. If you’re in it because your parents want you to be a dr or for a lucrative career or some other external motivation, let me tell you now. Medicine is not worth it.
16/20 For many, medicine is what patches us together. It brings us joy; gives us purpose. But I’ve seen it also be the thing to tear you down. The schedule, the demands. Death. If the motivation isn’t genuine, it’s not worth it
17/20 I knew this field required sacrifice. But putting on a brave face, when all you want to do is break down...
I know an ER doc whose family has moved in with her parents so she doesn’t infect them with COIVD. She FaceTimes her daughter goodnight.
I know an ER doc whose family has moved in with her parents so she doesn’t infect them with COIVD. She FaceTimes her daughter goodnight.
18/20 In the 3 years I have been in school, my mom has completely lost her vision, I’ve lost my uncle. My father died right before Step 1 studying. And now I’ve lost my brother. Yet amidst all of that, the world kept spinning and medical school kept going.
19/20 Last reason for this thread: understand there’s a balance between the location of your medical school and the location of your support system. Although I love where I’m at, medical school is stressful. Imagine having no one to calm your lows + celebrate your highs.
20/20 Had a lot of reflection during my drive. Thanks for letting me share some. I hope this perspective is useful #premedtwitter. I hope everyone is doing ok during this time. All the health. All the love.
