#AlloAllo 1 - ‘The British Are Coming’ Vivid memory of watching this at Xmas ‘82. Nearly everything and everybody already perfectly in place; a masterclass of a pilot. The language barrier conceit is genius. Best joke - ‘This is my wife’ ‘Will she talk?’ ‘Incessantly’

#AlloAllo 2 - ‘The British ‘Ave Come’ The plot is already insanely complicated. Herr Flick and Helga have their first ‘romantic’ scene, providing the Best joke - ‘The way you ordered the chocolate mousse sent shivers down my spine’.

#AlloAllo 3 - ‘Pigeon Post’. Begins with René talking to us at home for the first time. Best joke - ‘You will go there disguised as a small boy.’ ‘Why can I not go there disguised as a small girl?’ (thinks) ‘Because you *are* a small girl.’

#AlloAllo 4 - ‘Savile Row To The Rescue’. Nitroglycerin disguised as gin is thrown into the mix. Best joke - ‘I have to conduct my affairs with great care and secrecy, or the Germans will ‘ave me shot!’ ‘I have the same problem with my wife’. Oh, and -

#AlloAllo 5 - ‘The Execution’ Surprised that René’s execution happens so early on. Best joke - ‘But Helga, how are you able to peer through the high window of the prison?’ ‘I AM STANDING ON A PEASANT!’

#AlloAllo 6 - ‘The Funeral’ First appearance of M. Alfonse the undertaker. Best joke - (discussing René’s epitaph) ‘Sadly missed? No, we cannot have that. ‘E was shot!’

#AlloAllo 7 - ‘Reds Nick Colonel’ The Colonel is kidnapped by ze communist resistance. Best joke - Herr Flick’s car stalls; he hands Helga a starting handle. ‘Insert this into the hole at the front and turn rapidly’ And what will you do?’ ‘I will wiggle my foot on the pedal’

#AlloAllo 7 - ‘The Dance Of Hitler Youth’ ‘Season finale’ giving everyone a chance to do a party piece. Best joke - ‘Oh Yvette, my little cabbage!’ ‘Oh René, my big parsnip!’ ‘When we are too old to make love we will make beautiful soup together’