Last night I smugly made my own pizza dough. Then I accidentally used the grill instead of the oven. I went out for a cigarette. When I came back there was smoke. A lot of smoke. The alarm went off in the flat. Then the alarm went off in the building. Then the fire brigade came.

The entirely building was evacuated. During a global pandemic. Then I had to show the fireman the burned pizza (from two meters distance), so he could turn the alarm off. “I made my own dough” I told him forlornly. He was quite impressed.