Soup for lunch
Mike’s Frozen Woolly Mammoth Soup
Now then. Everyone has one of these tucked at the back of the freezer don’t they?
You know- that great big lump of ‘thing’ which stops the drawers shutting properly. That is your actual deep frozen woolly mammoth.

No of course it’s not a whole one and no I have no idea why it’s there either. Must have been a bargain Buy One Get One Free at some point..
So hike it out of the freezer. Heavens!! There’s a lot of it isn’t there.
I’d leave it for about a month to defrost if I were you.

*2 months later*
That’s a bit of a mess now isn’t it? Sorry about the sopping wet floor..
Ok. Have you got your chain saw handy? Just take of the woolly bit and put to one side. That will make a splendid pair of oven gloves later on. Perhaps.

Now… oh dear all the electrics have stopped working. Best find a ladder and try and cobble something together with Gaffa tape.
*2 more months later*
Ah so pleased you are out of hospital.. The house looks a bit one sided with only half of it standing. Right let’s get on.

That woolly mammoth is now a heap of gloop so just put it in a saucepan with an onion or two and a pinch of salt. And leave it for a couple of hours.
Then mash it to a mush if it hasn’t burnt. Oh it has…
Not a great success really, I’d throw the whole thing in the bin