Welcome to weird idea town:
AU in which Kiri is working for the cops protecting evidence and witnesses because he never became a hero, and he ends up having to protect a mysterious dog that has SOMETHING to do with a big case pro hero Ground Zero is working on
a #kiribaku thread
Kirishima was a titan
The cops all knew that
Anytime they had a "hot item" that needed protecting, he was their go-to. Sure, he wasn't actually a "hero" but he still had a license, just so he could use his quirk, specifically for his job
protecting witnesses
and evidence too
Kirishima is stacked. Absolutely intimidating. Even without his quirk fully active, he's a powerhouse. A terrifying opponent. Most criminals and villains won't even attempt to destroy evidence or threaten witnesses if they know the item/person is in Kirishima's care
He's taller than All Might was, and just as thick. With his quirk fully active, he was an immovable force. An unbreakable wall.
He joked that, if he were a hero, that'd be a good name for it. "Unbreakable". That's what he was, & that's what he would be in order to ensure justice
Absolutely unbreakable.
Nothing ever left his possession worse than when it arrived. That was his job, after all: object security. Witness protection. Nothing got past him
So, whenever the cops needed a hot item to be hidden and protected, he was their go-to guy
He lived in a run-down looking warehouse that was secretly stacked with security, bullet-proof windows, big rooms that were actually steel-walled vaults, panic rooms, hide-away rooms--if it could protect someone or something, he had a version of it at his house
It was like Fort Knox, they said.
That's why, even if it was two twenty-four in the morning, if it was important and needed hiding, they called him
And he always answered
Always
When the call came in and lit his screen up with his favorite detective's name, he didn't hesitate
"Detective," he greeted
"Kirishima, is this bad timing?"
"No," he lied.
Truthfully, he'd been having a wonderful dream. It was slipping away from him fast, but the strands that he was left with said that his dream had to do with nuzzling into some well-muscled man's chest
Dreamy
So dreamy
He'd been utterly content in his sleep
But, he had to put that away for now
There was work to do
"What do you need?" he asked, already rising from his bed
"A favor. A really big favor."

---------

"I don't understand," Kirishima was saying less than an hour later
"What's this dog have to do with anything?" he asked
The mutt was... odd. Not a breed he'd ever seen before. All spiky blonde fur, red eyes, & grumpy grimace
Maybe it was part wolf. That would explain a lot
Including the snarl that rivaled a chainsaw's
Detective Hiro sighed
"We dont honestly know," he admitted. "All we know is: the dog was with Ground Zero when--uh, sorry, that bit is classified. Just know that this dog is an important witness. VERY important." Hiro leveled Kirishima with a stare. "Very."
"Yeah, sure, okay," Kirishima said
It was odd for him to come into possession of something whose origins were classified, but it did happen occasionally
"Do we have any idea who might come looking for him?" Kirishima asked, watching as the dog tipped Hiro's trashcan over, spilling an old coffee across the floor
Hiro frowned
"No."
The dog chuffed, displeased, and made a grumbling sound as it snatched a magazine off the counter with its teeth
Part of Kirishima acknowledged that the dog had taken last week's edition of Heroes Rising--which featured an article of his new fave, Ground Zero
--the hero who this dog was attached to--his crush from another lifetime, or another dimension--hell, if he'd taken up UA's offer to let him into the hero program, he could've had a shot at the guy--
DANG IT
Now wasn't the time
Kirishima rubbed his tired eyes, tired of "what if"s
He had a job to do
A job he was going to knock out of the park
For justice, sure, and for Hiro
But also...
For Ground Zero
A small thrill went through him at that thought. Excited to be needed--even minimally--by his favorite hero. The most manly hero
Damn. He was getting carried
away again
"How long do I need to keep the dog?" Kiri asked
"Just until we find someone with a quirk that can translate what the mutt is saying," Hiro replied, ignoring how the dog glared at him. "Anima just went out of the country for an overseas mission, but the moment he gets
back, the dog'll be out of your hands."
Kirishima sighed, unnerved by the dog's gaze
It was so... intent
Intense
Alert
It felt like he was taking this all in, just as much as Kirishima was
...weird
Were dogs like that? He'd never had a dog before, so he wouldnt really know
He'd have to google dog care or something. Learn about their behaviors and stuff
"Can you handle it Kirishima?"
Snapping out of his thoughts, the red-haired giant nodded confidently. "Of course. Nothing'll happen to the dog, I swear it."
"I'm not worried about that..."
"Then, what're you worried about?"
"You getting rabies," Hiro retorted, pointedly looking at the dog as it bared its teeth and growled
Kirishima chuckled lightly, hiding his nerves. "We'll be fine, I'm sure"
Besides, his quirk could handle the dog's teeth easily
Easily
His shirt, on the other hand, wasn't much of a match
By the time he got the dog into his apartment, he was practically naked
"Damn dog, why're you so grouchy? You haven't even given me a chance yet, sheesh."
The dog had been okay in the car when Kiri had run into the store
But
The moment he got back into the car? Arms stocked full of dog things--bed, chew toys, treats?
The beast had lost it
He was still hanging off Kiri's shirt tail as he dragged the dog and the groceries through the warehouse, trudging--with effort--up the steps to the office
His "apartment"
It was his sanctum in the middle of the big building. A more modern, fitting place to live than in the middle of a giant empty floor, or amongst vaults and his gym room
Not that he'd mind living in his gym
"Ouch! SHIT--dog, what the hell?"
The dog had snapped at
his ankle as he was moving up the stairs, lost in thought
"Son of a--"
Alright, yeah. This was getting ridiculous
Once inside the office-turned-apartment, Kirishima locked himself and the dog inside, dropped the groceries and spun around
Pissed
"Listen," Kirishima shouted, watching the dog's eyes widen a bit, stunned. "I dont know where the fuck you came from, or what the fuck you know, or why Ground Zero wants your ass safe, but he does, & I can't fucking let my favorite hero down, alright? So just--COOL IT, alright?"
The dog's jaw dropped
Almost as if the beast were speechless
Good. He had his attention now
Kneeling, Kirishima looked the dog straight in the eye and started again
"Look, I don't speak dog. I can't tell what you want or what you're thinking, but I can try to figure it out
you just gotta help me out, okay? Snarling, biting--that doesnt help me. Show me what you want from me. Please," the last bit came out quiter--softer--than he'd intended it to. A real, true plea rather than a logical leveling
But
It seemed to work
This dog was whip-smart, Kiri
had already experienced that, witnessed it first-hand. From how it tilted its head to your sound, all the way to his eyes exuding intent, the dog was smart
Probably, that's why it was so important to Ground Zero
Kiri wasn't sure about other dogs--or other animals for that matter-
-but he felt like they couldn't process things like people. Not like how this dog did
This dog was... something else
If they were calling Anima in to question the dog, that meant the beast had higher level intelligence, Kiri was sure
So
He'd meant to reason with him
Not beg
Luckily for him, that seemed to work on the dog just fine
He huffed, eyes scrunching. Annoyed
But
He stopped trying to break free of the apartment
Instead, the dog trotted over to the pile of groceries on the floor, nosing through the contents until he found what he was after
"The dog food? Are you hungry?" Kiri asked
It earned him a low growl
Can in his mouth, the dog chuffed again, disgusted
And--somehow, through some weird miracle--the beast whipped its head
Throwing the can against the wall so hard it exploded, coating the wall with its odiferous
contents
Now Kirishima's jaw was the one on the floor
"Dude, you--I--what the--arent you gunna clean that up?!"
Surely the dog would try to lick it up off the wall, right?
..Wrong
In the end, the dog's nose wrinkled at the greasy, gooey canned food, leaving it up to Kiri to clean
Just his luck
He'd never had a normal dog before, and clearly he wasn't getting one now
"Can't believe I had to get the prissy dog," he muttered
Clearly, the dog heard him
And did NOT approve
He snapped his jaw, disapproving, face set in a glare
"Yeah yeah. So, no dog food?"
He couldn't believe he was surprised that the dog nodded
But he was
He shouldn't have been--because of COURSE the dog knew what a nod was, of course it did--but he still stood there, flummoxed, for a moment
Just one though
"No dog food? Like, at all?"
Again, the dog nodded
"Well... shit"
Kiri scratched at the back of his neck
"What do you eat then?"
Without further preamble--what preamble would there be from a dog anyway?--the beast trotted off confidently, sniffing at the air to find his way to the kitchen
His nose stuck to the fridge pointedly
"In here?"
The dog chuffed, annoyed, but nodded
And he showed Kiri what he would eat
"Are eggs even good for dogs?" Kiri questioned, and a glance to the side told him the dog was judging him for asking such a question
"Jeez, sorry. I don't know anything about dogs. I've never had
one before"
The dog rolled his eyes
ROLLED HIS EYES
"Are all dogs packed with this much attitude? Because, if so, I don't see why more people aren't cat people"
The dog yipped
"I was joking! Relax man, sheesh. Anyway--what'm I supposed to call you? You got a name?"
The dog nodded
"Care to give it up?"
The blond beast gave him a pointed look
"Oh, right. Well... is there a way you can give me a hint? Can you, like, spell it out or something?"
He swears the dog frowned
"Okay, I'll just go through every letter of the alphabet, and you nod at the right ones in
the right order, alright?"
This did not look alright with the dog, but what choice did he have?
A half hour later, the dog was named "Kats"
"Heh, that's kinda funny. A dog named Kats," Kiri remarked
The dog--Kats--didnt seem to find it as amusing
Kiri's smile turned chagrined
"Uh, anyhow, it's nice to meet you Kats. I'm Eijirou Kirishima, but I'm sure you knew that. It's my job to take care of you and keep you safe--but I'm sure you knew that, too. Anyhow, you're here because of Ground Zero--he needs you. I don't know why, but that's more than enough
info for me. I'm gunna take such good care of you. Because, if you're important to him, you're important to me, too. Anything for the manliest hero around, y'know? Anyway, I'm gunna shower. I'll leave the door open though, so bark if you need anything, alright?"
Kats made a face
that indicated he thought leaving the shower open was weird, and that he most certainly wouldnt need naked Kirishima for anything
But
Kiri left the door open anyway, just in case
However, he didn't hear Kats. And, when he exited the shower, he didn't see Kats either.
But he did hear people.
Multiple people
He stilled, body on the edge of activating his quirk, just in case
But...
It was...
The tv?
"Kats, what're you--"
He halted
Awed
Because it'd been no joke. Not a trick on his hearing or anything like that
Kats was sitting on his couch, remote within reach of his paw
& he was channel surfing
"Holy... shit," Kirishima surmised
The dog yipped, annoyed as its paw smashed several buttons at once
Kats made a high-pitched sound of frustration, Kiri had to choke down a laugh. He was sure the dog wouldnt appreciate it
He seemed to be... sensitive
The dog snarled at the remote, smashing its paw down more carefully this time, and something happened that apparently pleased Kats
It was the news
"Oh, you a news guy? I'm more of a sports guy myself--"
Kats yipped again, and Kiri felt it was a command to shut up
He rolled his eyes at the dog. "So bossy"
But he sat down next to Kats, quietly rubbing a towel over his hair. Recently, he'd let it grow out
which made it a pain to dry, and unruly, but it made his spikes bigger and gave him the appearance of a lion
...Or, at least, that's how he felt about it anyway--
"Ow! Kats! What the--"
The dog had just smacked his bare leg, leaving small angry red lines over his skin
He didn't
have much time to assess the damage though
Kats was barking
Wildly so
Jumping up and down on the couch, spinning in a circle, doing whatever he could to get Kirishima's attention
"Okay, I get it, something has you riled. What--"
Kats leapt off the couch, bounding forward
until his nose pointed very distinctly at one person
Kiri's heart seized for a second, his stomach dropping
It was him. The manliest guy he'd ever seen
Ground Zero
The hero was on the tv, grumping about a situation to a newscaster
In another world as Kiri's heart stuttered
Kats barked again, brining Kiri away from his thoughts
"What? Yeah, it's GZ--good ole' Ground Zero--number two pro. That's the guy I'm keeping you safe for, right?"
Kats's ears flattened, a low growl slipping from between his teeth
Kiri paid it no mind though
"Y'know, it's
crazy to think that I could've known the guy. Did you know that? Course not, nobody knows that. I was accepted into UA though--same year as him. Same class, too. But I just... never accepted"
Honestly, it was one of Kiri's greatest regrets
Yeah, he'd had doubts. And, yeah, they
were valid to an extent
But
He shouldn't have let them kill his dream
He sighed, weary of the "what if's" once more. Tired of thinking about all the things he'd missed, all the opportunities he'd let slip by him, all the trains he'd missed
Some days, the thoughts were too heavy
Heavy enough that they'd keep him in bed
Some nights--though he wasn't likely to admit it--he found tears pricking his eyes after ruminating too long. His emotions wrapped up in all the possible futures he'd missed
Again, he sighed
Tired
His go-to "what if" was, of course--
No
He shouldn't go there
That wouldn't do him any good. It never did
He ought to just...
"Sorry Kats, I think I need... I think I need to lay down," Kiri admitted, smile sliding from his face before he was down the hall. "If you need anything, let me know. I'll install a doggy-door
tomorrow so you're not entirely reliant on me, but, I just... I gotta lie down"
And with that, Kiri closed his door. Then, he thought better of it and opened it just a crack, just in case
And then, he was out
Spent
As his eyes drifted shut, he caught the blurry outline of spiky
blond fur and ferocious red eyes. The likes of which he often dreamt about. And then, because of that, he couldn't help it. The "what if" slipped through
What if he'd missed a chance--THE chance--to get to know Ground Zero?
Gods, the thought was painful
With a small whimper, Kiri
closed his eyes, tears and regret ruining his dreams
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