Now that travel to Western Australia is by very-restricted visa only, even if you are a Westralian citizen, I will reveal photos of my many experiences in the magic Kingdom #waexit. First, each Westralian has his or her own 50 hectare beach. I rented this one for just $5

This is a sunset. There are 366 of them in Westralia, and it's never ever cloudy

Each Westralian tree is 150m tall, and hosts proportionately large spiders and giant quokas

The Indian Ocean is actually a huge fresh water lake, shark free and suitable for bathing

Its footy stadium is the size of a small city, like Adelaide, and houses two teams, their staff and 85,000 people

It has a Casino made entirely from 24 carat gold that is suspended on a bridge over a river imported from France

Although there are many buildings, they are actually facades, since the population density is one person per thousand square km

Yoga in Westralia is only permitted while drunk

Because of its isolation, bikes are actually crocheted in Westralia

At sunset, every Westralian is legally obliged to face west and down a minimum of 330ml of beer while wearing thongs

Founded in 1829, Westralia was founded by doctor who in the Pinnacle Desert, north of what is now known as Perth

Westralia's capital is situated on a river where most residents earn $100k a year panning for gold. It's ancient buildings and green spaces were once compared to the hanging gardens of Babylon

Yes it's

With today's secession announcement, the new tourism slogan is "We know where the bloody hell you are, don't come here"