Hello! It's me, your friendly neighborhood Mara! Just getting my Kraft mac & cheese (Frozen II shaped) on the stove before starting Eclipse!

Alright...here we gooooo!!!

Oooooooh I forgot how scary the beginning was.

Good old Charlie Swan trying to ground Bella...lol.

Off to Florida!!!!!!!!!

OMG exciting tidbit: The t-shirt quilt Bella's mom gives her has a shirt from Top Pot Doughnuts, my favorite Seattle doughnut chain. I haven't noticed that before!

Jacob is loving this so much...and so am I.

Welp, Jacob's not so cheery anymore. "I'd rather you be dead than one of them." Ouch, Jacob, ouch.

Edward: "Doesn't he own a shirt?"
Jacob:

Fun fact #1: I grew up outside of Seattle, only a few hours drive from Forks. One summer, I spent a week with my family on the beach on the Quileute reservation. We had bonfires and I burned all my old homework!

Don't kiss people without their consent. But also, don't punch a werewolf in the face.

PARTY AT THE CULLEN'S, EVERYONE'S INVITED! ...jk, stay home friends.

I may or may not have a mad crush on Jasper.

And is it wrong to want a pet werewolf? They're just so FLUFFY!

Fun fact #2: I used to drive the same car as Edward in the Twilight movie, a Volvo C30! Only mine was bright red, not silver, and my parents sold it 5 days after I moved to NYC.

Jasper: "Dude, your scent is revolting."
Jacob:

Oooh Charlie, not the talk. Please, anything BUT the talk.

I'm thrilled to announce the engagement of Bella Swan and Edward Cullen.

This scenery is making me so homesick. Let's go camping!

Jacob: "Let's face it, I'm hotter than you."
Edward:

Fun fact #3: The Mara is also a Slavic blood sucking demon. Google it.

The battle against the newborns has begun. Victoria is just standing there looking mildly concerned.

They are now all trying to pull off each other's heads.

GO EDWARD!!! Winner, winner, animal blood dinner.