I'm on hold with @wellsfargo. I called the correct number, but somehow I was on hold for 45 minutes, and it has connected me to the ABSOLUTELY WRONG department. So, now I'm basically starting over from scratch. The following twitter thread is my attempt to stay sane.

Currently, there are 308 callers ahead of me in the queue; with an average of a wait time that I couldn't quite hear on the line.

Currently, there are 304 callers ahead of me in the queue; with an average hold time of 57 minutes 33 seconds.

Currently, there are 295 callers ahead of me in the queue; with an average hold time of 55 minutes 48 seconds. Phone battery is 47%.

Currently, there are 289 callers ahead of me in the queue; with an average hold time of 54 minutes 39 seconds. Phone battery is 47%.

Currently, there are 287 callers ahead of me in the queue; with an average hold time of 54 minutes 17 seconds. Phone battery is 46%.

Currently, there are 279 callers ahead of me in the queue; with an average hold time of 52 minutes 44 seconds. Phone battery is 46%.

Currently, there are 273 callers ahead of me in the queue; with an average hold time of 51 minutes 29 seconds. Phone battery is 46%.

Currently, there are 265 callers ahead of me in the queue; with an average hold time of 49 minutes 51 seconds. Phone battery is 46%.

Currently, there are 262 callers ahead of me in the queue; with an average hold time of 49 minutes 13 seconds. Phone battery is 45%.

Currently, there are 253 callers ahead of me in the queue; with an average hold time of 47 minutes 24 seconds. Phone battery is 45%.

Currently, there are 245 callers ahead of me in the queue; with an average hold time of 45 minutes 49 seconds. Phone battery is 45%.

Current total hold time: 1 hour 06 minutes

Currently, there are 242 callers ahead of me in the queue; with an average hold time of 45 minutes 14 seconds. Phone battery is 45%.

Currently, there are 232 callers ahead of me in the queue; with an average hold time of 43 minutes 02 seconds. Phone battery is 44%.

Currently, there are 224 callers ahead of me in the queue; with an average hold time of 41 minutes 25 seconds. Phone battery is 44%.

Currently, there are 216 callers ahead of me in the queue; with an average hold time of 39 minutes 43 seconds. Phone battery is 44%.

Currently, there are 211 callers ahead of me in the queue; with an average hold time of 38 minutes 41 seconds. Phone battery is 43%.

Currently, there are 207 callers ahead of me in the queue; with an average hold time of 37 minutes 56 seconds. Phone battery is 43%.

Currently, there are 203 callers ahead of me in the queue; with an average hold time of 37 minutes 11 seconds.
Phone battery is 43%.
Laptop battery is at 6%, and I lunged across the couch to get the charging cord just now.

Currently, there are 199 callers ahead of me in the queue; with an average hold time of 36 minutes 28 seconds.
Phone battery is 43%.

Total hold time so far: 1 hour 16 minutes

Currently, there are 194 callers ahead of me in the queue; with an average hold time of 35 minutes 33 seconds.
Phone battery is 43%.

I've started dancing to the TERRIBLE hold music. I think I'm losing it, but you should check with @ace_octopus to make sure.

Currently, there are 186 callers ahead of me in the queue; with an average hold time of 34 minutes 04 seconds.
Phone battery is 42%.

Currently, there are 181 callers ahead of me in the queue; with an average hold time of 33 minutes 06 seconds.
Phone battery is 42%.

Currently, there are 179 callers ahead of me in the queue; with an average hold time of 32 minutes 43 seconds.
Phone battery is 42%.

Currently, there are 175 callers ahead of me in the queue; with an average hold time of 32 minutes 00 seconds.
Phone battery is 42%.

Currently, there are 169 callers ahead of me in the queue; with an average hold time of 30 minutes 57 seconds.
Phone battery is 41%.

Currently, there are 160 callers ahead of me in the queue; with an average hold time of 29 minutes 22 seconds.
Phone battery is 41%.

Currently, there are 151 callers ahead of me in the queue; with an average hold time of 27 minutes 38 seconds.
Phone battery is 41%.

Currently, there are 144 callers ahead of me in the queue; with an average hold time of 26 minutes 20 seconds.
Phone battery is 41%.

Currently, there are 137 callers ahead of me in the queue; with an average hold time of 25 minutes 05 seconds.
Phone battery is 40%.

Total Wait Time SO FAR: 1 hour 27 minutes

Currently, there are 134 callers ahead of me in the queue; with an average hold time of 24 minutes 32 seconds.
Phone battery is 40%.

ALSO, I've transcribed the other 2 announcements they made on this wait line.

This is fine. I'm doing fine.

Currently, there are 126 callers ahead of me in the queue; with an average hold time of 23 minutes 02 seconds.
Phone battery is 40%.

Currently, there are 119 callers ahead of me in the queue; with an average hold time of 21 minutes 46 seconds.
Phone battery is 40%.

Currently, there are 109 callers ahead of me in the queue; with an average hold time of 19 minutes 54 seconds.
Phone battery is 39%.

Currently, there are 101 callers ahead of me in the queue; with an average hold time of 18 minutes 21 seconds.
Phone battery is 39%.

Currently, there are 91 callers ahead of me in the queue; with an average hold time of 16 minutes 26 seconds.
Phone battery is 39%.

UNDER 100 BABY.

Currently, there are 82 callers ahead of me in the queue; with an average hold time of 14 minutes 47 seconds.
Phone battery is 39%.

Currently, there are 73 callers ahead of me in the queue; with an average hold time of 13 minutes 08 seconds.
Phone battery is 38%.

Currently, there are 70 callers ahead of me in the queue; with an average hold time of 12 minutes 35 seconds.
Phone battery is 38%.

Currently, there are 61 callers ahead of me in the queue; with an average hold time of 10 minutes 58 seconds.
Phone battery is 38%.

Currently, there are 52 callers ahead of me in the queue; with an average hold time of 9 minutes 18 seconds.
Phone battery is 38%.

Currently, there are 47 callers ahead of me in the queue; with an average hold time of 8 minutes 24 seconds.
Phone battery is 37%.

Currently, there are 39 callers ahead of me in the queue; with an average hold time of 6 minutes 56 seconds.
Phone battery is 37%.

Currently, there are 30 callers ahead of me in the queue; with an average hold time of 5 minutes 23 seconds.
Phone battery is 37%.

Current elapsed wait time: 1 hour 44 minutes

Currently, there are 21 callers ahead of me in the queue; with an average hold time of 3 minutes 49 seconds.
Phone battery is 36%.

Current elapsed wait time: 1 hour 45 minutes

Currently, there are 13 callers ahead of me in the queue; with an average hold time of 2 minutes 25 seconds.
Phone battery is 36%.

Current elapsed wait time: 1 hour 46 minutes

Currently, there are 4 callers ahead of me in the queue; with an average hold time of 58 seconds.
Phone battery is 36%.

Current elapsed wait time: 1 hour 47 minutes

So, I've gotten through and spoken with Sweet Devin, but this is only the line for personal cards, so she can only help me with that. I've got to be transferred to the business department to get help with that account.

SO....we might be having more of this thread in a minute...