“Date to marry” was one of the worst lessons I was taught at church when I was in my teens.

It’s only recently I learnt that sometimes you need to jola just to jola & so you can decide what you like and don’t like.

There’s a book I remember they made us read “I kissed dating goodbye” by Joshua Harris. This book is about how you shouldn’t date but you should “court” ( biblical dating to marry)

Guys as we speak now, Joshua Harris is divorced

I was in therapy for a year unlearning all the toxic things I learnt in church about relationships/courting and marriage=happiness.

I’ll definitely do a thread about that soon

Shuuu I remember those days guys, there was always that “older” women (28yrs +) praying and fasting desperately for a husband

I was encouraged at 21 to start fasting for my husband, and for me it didn’t make sense because why am I starving myself for a man TO COME FIND ME?

I remember my therapist looking at me in shock cause I was crying cause all I wanted to do was be married cause marriage = happiness

She literally was like “ok so what kinda man do you wanna marry” and I couldn’t even answer her

She was shocked at the effect the ideas the teachings the church had on me, mainly because my parents who are still to this day madly inlove with each other have never ever defined their personal happiness as “marriage”.

Feeling super vulnerable now, so I’m gonna stop.