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This week has seen a huge shift in public attitudes and it has broken through my defences.
A short thread.
I've long said that it's not the patient that will illicit emotion from you, but the family. Their emotions are intense and they blindside you.
1/7
A short thread.
I've long said that it's not the patient that will illicit emotion from you, but the family. Their emotions are intense and they blindside you.
1/7
At the beginning of the week we were finding desperately ill people and taking them to hospital. Their loved ones were saying "see you soon" as we departed without them.
But last night that changed. They weren't saying goodbye, they were saying their goodbyes.
2/7
But last night that changed. They weren't saying goodbye, they were saying their goodbyes.
2/7
If you've never stood beside someone saying their last goodbyes to the most important person in their life, then you are pretty damn fortunate.
They turn to me, look deep into my eyes, and implore me to take good care of their parent/spouse/child as they crumble inside.
3/7
They turn to me, look deep into my eyes, and implore me to take good care of their parent/spouse/child as they crumble inside.
3/7
And it catches you, that intense burst of grief. It catches you and it stays with you.
There is an argument that this is what I signed up for. But, in the four years I've been doing this, I've felt this twice.
4/7
There is an argument that this is what I signed up for. But, in the four years I've been doing this, I've felt this twice.
4/7
Once when we stopped a resus and the wife came to say goodbye. I was trapped in the corner providing ventilations and couldn't get out. The wife spoke to her husband of 60 years with great tenderness and I fought back the tears.
5/7
5/7
The other time was when the mother of a very premature baby asked me what his eyes looked like as I was the only person who ever saw them before he died.
I had that level of emotion three times last night and it's only going to get worse.
6/7
I had that level of emotion three times last night and it's only going to get worse.
6/7
If you know someone who is working on the front line through this, support them with everything you've got. They are going to need it.
The end.
7/7
The end.
7/7
