Thread by @plantcrowns, im gonna start a reread of artemis fowl "Butler could kill [...]

im gonna start a reread of artemis fowl

"Butler could kill you a hundred different ways without the use of weapons. Though I'm sure one would be quite sufficient."

god i love this kid

me starting holly's chapter and getting upset thinking about the movie

artemis making jokes and then telling himself to stop

"Argh? Pathetic and inarticulate. Nice combination. Your mothers must be so proud."

i forgot butler can be sassy too

"This Fowl person seems to know all of our rules, so it's time to break a few."

ah yes mulch diggums is entering the story

butler fighting a goddamn troll will never not be iconic

!!!!

foaly and root really said fuck you cudgeon

on to the arctic incident!

okay im actually starting artic now

holly they just did the grunt work you should be able to figure that out

oh the assumptions

I FORGOT FOALY WEARS A TIN FOIL HST TO STOP BRAIN PROBING SIGNALS FHVFHJJ

ah the first mention of koboi labs, our favorite antagonist is coming soon

"If Koboi went under, the entire Haven City defense network went under with it."

THEN DON'T GET ALL YOUR SHIT FROM ONE COMPANY! DON'T MONOPOLIZE YOUR SYSTEM

i love the visual in my brain of butler picking up artemis in this scene

"Artemis groaned. More running and jumping."

what a mood, me too artemis

foaly telling them the whole situation over and text and then being like "oh yeah if you dead wrong number"

mulch has a good eye saying it looked like artemis's uniform looked like it'd been dragged across 2 continents, because it had really

artemis calling holly, root, and butler his friends

oh god i forgot how annoying opal is

the last few pages if the book ft. artemis getting sappy

now the eternity code!

ah yes the plot if this one is artemis gets cocky, fucks up, and then has to get the fairies to help him clean up his mess

man this scene still gets me

LIKE BUTLER TOLD HIM HIS FIRST NAME AND HE SOBBED BECAUSE BUTLER IS HIS ONLY FRIEND REALLY AND IM EMOTIONAL

ARTEMIS BEING SOFT FIR HIS DAD IS SO CUTE

oof i forgot mulch was working with the chicago mafia group that goes after artemis

this book gets so sappy because artemis, butler, and juliet get their memories wiped at the end and it hurts my heart

EVERYTIME ONE OF THEM BRINGS UP NOT REMEMBERING IT HURTS MY HEART

i love him so much

even without his memories artemis still knows some shit is up

gonna start the opal deception little later

i mean thats opal in a nut shell, totally obsessed

im so ready for artemis trying to act like a normal teenager

Dude.

i find this far too hilarious

just... yes

butler said yeet

i love them

"you brought this on yourself"

yes because saving civilization is selfish now

yay butler remembers just by artemis saying domovoi

theyre friends again even uf he is memory-less

artemis getting back his memories and then being so surprised he has friends is so sweet and sad at the same time

atlantis complex? is that you?

on to the lost colony!

artemis vs. puberty

we been knew

N°1 has arrived into the plot !

i love n°1 hes so sassy

n°1's internal monologue is really just fuck abbot

NXJDJDJ I LOVE HIM

Domovoi Butler: Powered By Desperation

i love that artemis has become a sarcastic ass

butler intimidating every fairy due to his size challenge: failed

dude i cannot imagine the emotions and thoughts butler had during the years artemis was gone. like man it must have been rough

hey hes right!

:)

making jokes about swapping eyes - just bestie things

i love qwan being impressed about artemis getting then back 3 years after they had left like thats alot of time gone but also it could have been worse

also artemis's reaction to finding out his parents had twins during the 3 years he was gonr

gotta do some school work and then ill start time paradox

artemis is a cute big brother

butler is really loyal

n°1 is literally the cutest ever i swear he takes everything literally and i love it

i love the surprise artemis has

best page in the whole book tbh

hes not your butler artemis come on

i mean in the next book you are kinda mad artemis

10 year old artemis describing cartoon villains with eye patches vs. 14 year old artemis making a haiku about mulch's butt

the witty banter between mulch and artemis is wonderful

oof 14 year old artemis got tackled by a gorilla

ew she kissed him

artemis complimenting his younger self: narcissism or self love?

artemis wondering why his 10 year old self in a fit of self absorbed anger at his mom for buying a lemur when his dad was missing killed the lemur

eoin colfer really had fun with the puns in this book

I FORGOT JAYJAY WAS SHORT FIR JULIUS JUNIOR

"That will be the guilt gnawing at your soul. Like a rat on an old bone."

YOU TELL HIM BUTLER

in this book 10 year old and 14 year artemis both grow a conscience

great minds think alike

"A dead boy escaping on an extinct animal."

what a time artemis

YEE HAW

FIDJDKKD

ah yes opal has now actually lost her mind

fjdjfkek artemis

myles is gonna be upset probably

ofc opal found some way to escape

atlantis complex coming up next

actually fist im gonna reread the artemis fowl files

ITS A GOOD THING I DECIDED TO READ IT BEFORE ATLANTIS COMPLEX THE FIRST STORY IS ABOUT TURNBALL ROOT NOT JUST HOLLYS ORIGINS DJFJJFJD

hollys a walking road sign rn. what a great job

poor holly she just wants to join recon

fuck you trouble for underestimating holly. don't belittle her because she is a girl

trouble, julius, and turnball are being sexist

a round of applause for holly short

all you need to know about the second story in the files is that artemis is a major mama's boy and it's adorable

stealing a diamond from a tiara because its the same shade of blue as your fathers eyes to make a necklace for your mom is peak artemis culture

okay NOW atlantis complex

How to Get Rid of Bullies in One Easy Step by: Artemis Fowl II

i mean 5 is a good number

oh yeah artemis tricked butler into letting him go alone

"A demonstration! Fab. I

demonstrations."

thank you foaly for being serious during this time of concern

butler probably wants to kill artemis for the shit he's pulling rn too

butler ripped the front seat out his rental car cause the car was too small fjdnfndn

i mean i guess she has that one at least once a book then

ah yes, orion

i hate this

THE FUCKING DWARF CHEESE JOKE FJFNFN

orion treating foaly like a mystical creature and holly like a princess is just weird

also turnball really just went i would have gotten away with it too if it weren't for those meddling kids

PASTEL BLUE WITH LITTLE DOLPHINS

more evidence that artemis is a mama's boy, he has an unfinished symphony for her thats her ringtone with a slideshow of her pictures playing

randomosity

artemis explaining to them all what atlantis complex is and how hes not okay yet and then mulch making a joke about the fours

omg they used a curse word beside d'arvit

also this happened a little while back in the book but i cannot get over how the twins dealt with artemis being mad at them and locking them out his study. myles sat outside artemis's study for days trying every combo until he got the code right abd then beckett trapped myles +

in a fucking hole and offered him a ladder to get out in exchange for the code to artemis's study. like i love them so much and their determination to get to their brother

idk how i feel about turnball magicking leonor to keep loving him or at least thats what it sounds like

yooo if youre afraid of her leaving if shes not under your spell you might wanna re think the relationship

I'm the nut!

"Follow those bubbles." is my favorite order from Artemis

artemis is going for treatment of atlantis complex and juliet is about to annilate a jumbo pixie in wrestling

next will be the final book in the series, the last guardian

also a while back but i just remembered that in the artemis fowl files artemis says in a roundabout way that butler is his best friend and i

i still think about the fact that artemis's index and middle finger swapped on one of his hands like how weird is that

artemis fowl I did that

so proud of him he didn't fall

they will never give the 4 jokes

real subtle foaly and trouble has a point

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