Hey, dudes who wanna be good dudes, who wanna be allies and heroes! I have an ask:

Watch this video, from 1:16:00 until the end.

CW: Sexual Assault 1/

What are you seeing here? Look at the reactions as it happens.

This is IMPORTANT. I need you to see how people really react when this happens. 2/

The lady the GM is doing this to is laughing in disbelief, trying to downplay it. She knows hundreds of people are watching. She doesn't want to make a scene. 3/

Why isn't she protesting? Why doesn't she immediately stop the game?

Because humans are social creatures. We are all trained to go along with it if someone in a position of authority, like a GM, puts social pressure there to do so. 4/

This social pressure is even stronger for women. Women are conditioned their whole lives NOT TO MAKE A SCENE.

The fact that she's dealing with that social pressure doesn't invalidate what happened to her.

Here's her later video. She was NOT okay. 5/

The other female player freezes up. She is obviously not okay and can barely get through the end.

The two guys are facepalming. They know this isn't good, but it's not their character, so they don't feel like it's theirs to stop. 6/

Social pressure. They'd step in if there was a clear cry for help, but when the player it's happening to is laughing, they're not sure it's their place to stop it.

Remember, this was a live performance. You don't wanna mess up the show! 7/

So, GOOD DUDES, why am I asking you to watch this?

Because once you've had the psychological trick explained to you, you gain partial immunity to it. You are now vaccinated. 8/

Statistically, DUDES, you are more likely to be witness than victim. When you see this, you now know that just because a woman is laughing in confused disbelief doesn't mean she's okay with what's going on.

Now you know that you can do something. Even if you're not sure. 9/

All you need to do is put yourself in the scene and say to the perpetrator, "Hey, sorry, hold up just one sec," and then to the person you think might be a victim, "Do you need anything?" 10/

(You don't ask "Are you okay?", because social pressure when asked if you're okay is to say that you're fine. Ask if they need anything.)

Works in a game, works at a party. 11/

Now you know that you can do that. You can just check. As a bystander, hell, as a GM, if you're feeling like your player might be uncomfortable!

And if you're wrong? Worst case, people know you cared and were ready to stand up for them. 12/

But "as the GM" is tangential. If you watched that video, you saw the GM's face.

That was a weasel face. An "I'm getting away with something" face. He knew what he was doing wasn't cool.

DUDES, now you know that when you see that face, you should stop things and check in. 13/

This was a crappy situation, a crappy thing that one guy did that hurt several people.

Let it vaccinate you against the social pressure, so that when you see it happening to someone near, you can act. 14/14