Is anyone else’s Facebook and Instagram feed covered in cheery minimalist ads for upscale hand sanitizer? With some prices at 100x retail, this isn’t the same as the price gouging resellers a few weeks ago, but something different. A damn thread. 1/

Purell used to run like $2.50 for 8 oz. 28 oz of Walgreens generic was $4. It’s mostly isopropyl alcohol, which used to *retail* for like $1.50 for 32 oz. It’s fucking cheap is my point. It can’t cost more than 10¢ per ounce to make. 2/

But these greedy internet shits running Facebook ads are charging up to $15/oz for the same stuff in fancy bottles. And they make their 15000% markup preying on the anxiety of stay at homers and desperation of workers who don’t have the luxury to isolate. 3/

The money-grubbing assholes at Citizen Supply sell one thing: basic gloopy generic hand sanitizer. It's $30 for 32 oz or $0.94/oz. This is 7x retail. At 10¢/oz to produce, this is almost 1000% markup. Fuck right off! 4/

Similarly, the cynical dickheads at Forward Science will sell you 16 oz of spray for $20 ($1.25/oz). That's probably 1200% markup. And don't forget shipping & handling! 5/

The sneaky fuckwits over at Public Goods will sell you one (only one!) travel sized bottle for $2 ($1/oz), plus shipping. To get your one tiny bottle, you have to sign up for their $59 annual membership program. 6/

Check out the slimy pricks at Dr. Brite who’ll sell you a 16 oz bottle of hand sanitizer for $26 ($1.63/oz). 1600% markup. For only $99 you can get a value pack of 80 oz ($1.24/oz). 1200% markup. Plus shipping. What a deal! 7/

MDR usually hawks sketchy dietary supplements but in these trying times, those avaricious shitstains will happily sell you 8 oz of hand sanitizer for $15. Probably 18 times their costs. Plus shipping, of course. 8/

Meanwhile, the venal bastards over at Lily Vanity will sell you one 1.69 oz travel pouch of hand sanitizer for $4, or 5 pouches for $20. This has got to be over 20x cost. 2000% profit. And then there’s shipping. 9/

The rapacious turdlickers running Premium Nature will sell you 4 oz of hand sanitizing gel for $10. $2.50/oz. Estimated 2500% markup. Plus shipping and handling, of course. /10

The usurious asswarts at Maapilim also sell alcohol gel for $10 for a 4 oz bottle ($2.50/oz). 1250% markup. Plus shipping and handling. 11/

Look at the slugfuckers over at Distilled Bath & Body, who are super excited to sell you 3.4 oz of “hand liquor” for $12.50. Hey pally that’s almost $4/oz and it doesn’t even come with a free therapeutic candle. Bullshit! 12/

The villainous shitsmears at Merci Handy are selling normal gloopy hand sanitizer in pretty colors for $4 per teeny 1 oz bottle. That's 4000% markup dressed up like a smirking unicorn. 13/

Not to be outdone, the greasy lumps of excrement over at Boston General Store sell a 2 oz travel-sized bottle for $8, also a 4000% markup. That label sure is clean tho! 14/

The sordid heaps of wet trash at Cabinet won’t sell you hand sanitizer by itself at all, but they will gladly sell you a $30 kit with two tiny bottles along with some generic cold meds. What dicks! Appears to be something like a cool 5000% markup. 15/

Here’s where it gets nuts. EIR NYC will sell you a 2 oz spray for $20. $10/oz. Yep, these shady wankers are riding a juicy 10,000% markup on rubbing alcohol in a spray bottle, and that’s before shipping and handling. Toss em in the gulag. 16/

The worst are Activation Products, purveyors of Goop-ish snake oil, like magnesium relaxation air sprays. These scumsucking worms sell a 13.5 ml (0.44oz) spray for $7 or 6 for $35. That’s $13-15/oz for something that costs pennies. 15000% markup? Get the guillotines. 17/

I am sure there are other companies out there doing the same damn thing. These were just the ones I happened to see in my own feed over the past few days. 18/

There is still no hand sanitizer anywhere in stores partly thanks to parasites who have bought up the wholesale supply. They add a few drops of lavender oil, rebottle it, slap a minimalist spa-label on it, and make a mint peddling it online. It sucks. 19/

And I didn’t even get into all the overpriced soaps, face masks, disaster backpacks, emergency kits, keychain styluses, UV wands, UV phone sanitizers, UV toilet lights, and so on. It's a wild west out there and Zuckerberg just keeps cashing the checks. 20/