Sebagai wanita yang bertudung, jujur I cakap, obstacles nak kekal bertudung tu sangat besar. Ada hari hari yang I pertikaikan diri sendiri. Ada hari I rasa nak buka tudung and goes out freehair tapi I stick to myself. I almost gave up and almost decided to freehair.

Yang pakai tudung, teruskan istiqamah. Yang tak pakai tudung, you do you tapi kalau ada keinginan nak belajar pakai, teruskan. No judgement can get to you but God's. Sikit sikit asalkan ada improvement. I dah rasa obstacles nak bertudung walaupun I bertudung since I was a kid.

Yang tak pakai tudung, jangan perkecilkan hal tudung. "Kenapa dah pakai tudung perfect, tetiba pakai tudung nampak rambut or freehair?". Jujur I cakap, it's a war. It's between your stand and God's. It's your faith that keeps you on the ground.

Or same goes to yang pakai tudung perfect labuh etc. Alhamdulilah tudung dan pemakaian awak sempurna sebab Tuhan bagi awak iman yang teguh. We're on our ways pulak. Doakan kitorang jadi macam awak. Niat tu ada tapi sangat susah nak termeterai.

Yang lelaki pulak, kalau cakap buka tudung etc ni, sama jugak. This is war. War between inner self and the faith. Every single day, I, sebagai contoh, I fikir nak bertudung ke tak like kalau pendek, baik buka and when I'm at the edge, something just hit like, "No, we can do this"

I just nak cakap, you tak rasa, you takkan tahu sebab tak kena dekat you. Benda ni susah. Tudung bukan setakat tudung, hijab. Nak jaga hijab perkataan, hijab mata, hijab telinga, semua hijab. I just nak pesan, jangan perlekehkan pertarungan orang lain that you don't know about.

I don't fight physically but mentally. It's exhausting and tiring. This issue is really huge one and I believe my sisters in hijab are like that too. There's days that I'm tired to fight but the next day always gives me better chance to change towards better.

Allah tu sayang macam macam cara. Alhamdulilah, I ada supportive circle. I nak bertudung, diorang support and kalau I nak freehair, diorang nasihatkan dulu. Dalam keadaan I tak balance, diorang ada dengan I. Tak biar I sorang sorang tenggelam. I even think of this to sleep.

I rasa jealous tgk other girls freehair. I nmpk cantik kalau freehair, I teringin nak orang luar tengok I freehair & I wanted to have the feel. Hari hari I pertikaikan diri sendiri tapi I minta dlm solat dekat Allah, jangan tinggalkan I sebab I tak mampu. Struggle I terlalu besar

Orang yang takda struggle ni, alhamdulilah for you. I even stressed out and cried each time minta doa dekat Allah. I penat tapi I tak boleh penat. The only string that's holding me on is my faith to Allah. How big the love is that you're loving something you couldn't see

I hope everyone and in hijab babies that are reading this, live your life well. Don't give up and try to istiqamah as hard as possible. Allah is with you. If I couldn't meet you guys here, I wish Jannah as our meeting place. Peace be upon all of you