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i v much 100% agree and support the sentiment that nonbinary ppl do not have to be androgynous and/or gnc, but i also believe that androgyny has no "look" and that the world greatly misunderstands, hates, and refuses to accept androgyny/gnc-ity. this creates difficult dynamics
i probably see 20+ "nonbinary people dont have to be androgynous" posts a day, and yet as a nonbinary person who tries to be androgynous for myself, i often find even other nonbinary people attempt to project masculinity or femininity onto me
i get that intracommunally the messaging around nonbinaryness and the inner acceptance of it v much pushes the masc lite thin white androgyny look, and its a problem. society as a whole tho still does not accept, get, respect, or recognize androgynous people in their lives
its one of those things where what happens within LGBTQ+ spaces is wiiiiildly different to what goes on in the world/society, and ppl conflate their over exposure to LGBTQ+ internal dynamics to what society does at large
as time goes on i get a lot of interactions (w ppl who idk v well but still) where ppl who are never harassed irl over their gender/body/appearance tell me i have it easier bc of assumptions they make abt me / my life from like a few pictures! gnc-ity is 100% punished by society
and to go back to my original point, even other nonbinary people rlly do not want to let go of transmisogyny (not @ me but @ others), bioessentialism, and applying masc/fem to strangers and getting pushy when asked not to. smth to think abt
simply not being cis does not make u, yr approach to gender, yr theory, or how u treat others better or more radical. we all always have to unlearn and challenge ourselves and everything we have been taught our whole lives and its a constant ongoing process and takes effort
i dont believe in saying ppl have it better or worse than others when it comes to this bc gender is situational 24/7, but rlly do think abt how ppl r affected materially versus intracommunally before u speak. u also cant know someones experiences from 1 selfie
what it rlly comes down to is unlearning trans-liberalism, reading material by communists/anti-capitalists/etc when it comes to feminism or gender, challenging liberalism, and respecting others. listen to how ppl describe themself, and then use that same language abt them
no one's experiences are universal, and theres no one way people have to talk abt themself, or talk abt their experiences, and u rlly do not know ppl better than they do. avoid parasocial relationships. multiple things/experiences CAN be true and real simultaneously
[this is probably really boring and not news to most ppl i talk to, but im saying this for maybe ppl who r not exposed to this kind of analysis or have never thought abt it this way, and anyone who maybe has had thoughts abt this they didnt know how to express.]
i dont think i as a white trans person can ever do or say anything w/ or abt gender tht will actually be radical but i do know as a gnc, androgynous, butch, not thin person who is not into dudes ive definitely been punished for tht my whole life. esp after beginning to transition
