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i v much 100% agree and support the sentiment that nonbinary ppl do not have to be androgynous and/or gnc, but i also believe that androgyny has no "look" and that the world greatly misunderstands, hates, and refuses to accept androgyny/gnc-ity. this creates difficult dynamics
i probably see 20+ "nonbinary people dont have to be androgynous" posts a day, and yet as a nonbinary person who tries to be androgynous for myself, i often find even other nonbinary people attempt to project masculinity or femininity onto me
i get that intracommunally the messaging around nonbinaryness and the inner acceptance of it v much pushes the masc lite thin white androgyny look, and its a problem. society as a whole tho still does not accept, get, respect, or recognize androgynous people in their lives
its one of those things where what happens within LGBTQ+ spaces is wiiiiildly different to what goes on in the world/society, and ppl conflate their over exposure to LGBTQ+ internal dynamics to what society does at large
as time goes on i get a lot of interactions (w ppl who idk v well but still) where ppl who are never harassed irl over their gender/body/appearance tell me i have it easier bc of assumptions they make abt me / my life from like a few pictures! gnc-ity is 100% punished by society
and to go back to my original point, even other nonbinary people rlly do not want to let go of transmisogyny (not @ me but @ others), bioessentialism, and applying masc/fem to strangers and getting pushy when asked not to. smth to think abt
simply not being cis does not make u, yr approach to gender, yr theory, or how u treat others better or more radical. we all always have to unlearn and challenge ourselves and everything we have been taught our whole lives and its a constant ongoing process and takes effort
i dont believe in saying ppl have it better or worse than others when it comes to this bc gender is situational 24/7, but rlly do think abt how ppl r affected materially versus intracommunally before u speak. u also cant know someones experiences from 1 selfie
what it rlly comes down to is unlearning trans-liberalism, reading material by communists/anti-capitalists/etc when it comes to feminism or gender, challenging liberalism, and respecting others. listen to how ppl describe themself, and then use that same language abt them
no one& #39;s experiences are universal, and theres no one way people have to talk abt themself, or talk abt their experiences, and u rlly do not know ppl better than they do. avoid parasocial relationships. multiple things/experiences CAN be true and real simultaneously
[this is probably really boring and not news to most ppl i talk to, but im saying this for maybe ppl who r not exposed to this kind of analysis or have never thought abt it this way, and anyone who maybe has had thoughts abt this they didnt know how to express.]
i dont think i as a white trans person can ever do or say anything w/ or abt gender tht will actually be radical but i do know as a gnc, androgynous, butch, not thin person who is not into dudes ive definitely been punished for tht my whole life. esp after beginning to transition
