Been meaning to share something on my mind for a while now..

Well here it goes.

I call it the doctrine of accountability, alot of people do not have the balls to hold themselves accountable.

I'd use myself as an example, I started being responsible for myself at say 19/20..

Making decisions and swimming with sharks literally..
So when alot of things were checking out for me in my life. I didnt quite seem to be able to keep a relationship.

I was Young and babes plenty, so it was that constant roller coaster of not committing enough and never accepting responsibility when it goes left.

Plus I could barely communicate

Alot of people think because they are eloquent at staff meetings and very lively.

So it equals the ability to communicate when you are dating someone..

My friend you lie..

So with all the back and forth. I just decided to be on my own..

Cos in my little head.

I was always right
My apologies will always come off like this. " I am sorry I did this, it was because of xyz"

It always came with caveats.

And I would constantly convince myself that

The other party was the issue. And it would always make perfect sense. After all whatever you convince your mind to believe it would believe.

Then something happened.. love blindsided me..

I didnt see it coming, I didnt expect it

And it happened. Then there I was again self sabotaging that relationship everyday cos I had conditioned myself to never be accountable and believe everything should be done my way

Oh it ended with a bang, and it hurt real bad cos o couldnt even lie to myself anymore

I knew I had self sabotaged the relationship and I needed to urgently do something.

So I learnt by myself how to communicate, how to be open and how to be willing to accommodate others, understand that it's never about me and be willing to make sacrifices..

It was hard but it had to be done. I needed to stop telling myself that other people were the problem.

I needed to become teachable

And I needed to understand that I didnt need to treat relationships like they were businesses I needed to win

I understood that I didnt need to suppress the other party, and a love where the other party isnt given an opportunity to grow how they want and when they want isnt love

It was hard, but I am thankful I realised it early and I fixed it. And became better at dealing with people

For some people. They dont even know and they are constantly swimming in that ocean of self deceit

That other people are the issues and their inability to keep relationships is as a result of other people's silliness.

And they will keep up this act until they come full circle

People come full circle at different points in their lives.

That point where you will eventually get tired of lying to yourself..

But let's hope it's not too late and you are trapped in a loveless relationship or a marriage.

Cos you settled because u refused to put in work

On fixing your issues..

Its nobody's business trying to fix your mess.

It's your responsibility to fix your issues. Running from then wont make them go away,

And it's hard for your friends and people that love you to sometimes tell you that you are self sabotaging

They indulge you..cos of friendship bias..

It's your duty to fix you..

Always remember that