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LOCKDOWN GOALS.
1. To rid my living space of every single charger that fits a phone made before 2013.
2. Choose a banana bread recipe. (I don& #39;t need to make a loaf, just settle on a method.)
3. Mentally prepare for a hypothetical appearance on Richard Osman& #39;s House Of Games.
1. To rid my living space of every single charger that fits a phone made before 2013.
2. Choose a banana bread recipe. (I don& #39;t need to make a loaf, just settle on a method.)
3. Mentally prepare for a hypothetical appearance on Richard Osman& #39;s House Of Games.
4. Invent stupid, humiliating, elaborate dance to be performed to ABBA song at first post lockdown wedding. Practise doing dance with such seriousness and conviction that all other guests will feel forced to join in.
5. Reread all books with a view to locating & #39;rude bits& #39;. Highlight & #39;rude bits& #39; with Post Its, for post lockdown lending to friends.
6. Learn lyrics to John Barnes& #39; rap in World In Motion.
7. Train myself to say or think of the number seven without imitating Len Goodman.
8. Grow one of my fingernails. Make it creepily, revoltingly long. Make terrible jokes about "LITERALLY having time on my hands!" (Spray gross nail regularly with anti bac spray). Aim to get into the Guinness Book of World Records as "World& #39;s most pathetic human".
9. Improve fitness levels and stamina. Specifically, learn how to change a duvet cover without needing to sit down in the middle for a rest.
10. Watch The Wire.
11. Contact every single Guardian Soulmates date from 2009/10 who took up valuable hours of my life groaning “I cannot BELIEVE you have never watched The Wire.” Insist that they spend their lockdown watching The House Of Eliott three times, by way of compensation.
12. Get myself cast in an eighties family sitcom and learn how to spin on my heel, as if surprised, and land while grinning and doing a “Macca” (to lay people, a double thumbs up).
