A thread of London parks as supermarkets. 1/ Vauxhall Park would be Costcutters. Fine to pop in once in a while if you’re caught short, but not an actively pleasant experience. No one plans ahead to visit Costcutters.

2/ Kennington Park is probably a Co-Op, providing they’ve got a good reduced trolley at the end of the day. Good to pop in and top up your store cupboard and occasionally some pleasant surprises to be found early doors or at sundown.

3/ At the other end of the spectrum, Brockwell Park is M&S. Quality, spacious, great experience, but a faff to get to and not an everyday shop. Perfect for a special occasions or when you’ve got friends round and you want to make a great impression.

4/ Clapham Common is Sainsbury’s. Everyone loves it, usually quite busy but with good reason. Versatile to either pop in spontaneously on the walk back from the Tube or a big planned “Big Shop” event.

Sorry for the delay, went on some market research. Can confirm Clapham is definitely Sainsbury’s which means Hyde Park is Tesco. Similar reasons to Clapham, however I reckon cheeky chappy Jamie Oliver would have a flat in Clapham over Sloane Square.

6/ Battersea Park is Waitrose due to its quality, SW3 postcode and slight Holier Than Thou attitude of locals. Also a bit of an effort to get to. However the GoApe and 5 a side, similar to the Waitrose Essential range, makes it accessible to all who fancy a treat.

7/ Larkhall Park, small and confined, fine for spontaneously popping in for a swift lager beer or pre-mixed can of G&T on a summer’s evening, you are Premier Convenience.

8/ Moving up the Northern line, we come to Paradise Park. It’s got all the basics and essential greenery around the outside, but the middle is filled by an exciting caged football pitch and inexplicably, a zoo. That sorcery in the centre makes it a perfect match for Lidl.

9/ Richmond Park, so far out of central London you either have to block out a whole day or specify a precise few hours to dedicate to the trip. But the free-roaming deer are the cherry on the top of an already unique, high-quality shopping experience. Ocado.