What if...

Jae came to the point that he questioned his decisions. What if he had 2nd thoughts, about moving in to Korea & leaving his life in LA behind? What if at some point he regretted it & lost interest to continue..cos he was alone. Slept alone, ate alone, wandered alone.
What's gone wrong? What if he if realized that his expectations were far from reality. That the new life he chose was a struggle. He had to hussle & give extra effort, w/ all the uncertainty. Will he make it or not? Is this all worth it? Does he pursue his dream or just go home?
As time passed by he learned how to cope, he has finally adjusted. But there would still be times that he'd feel low again and he would ask himself "How am I doing? Am I really fine?". Remember his struggles with insomnia?
What if it wasn't just the struggle to sleep? But also the struggle to have a peace of mind. Overthinking led him to tears which kept him up all night. The feeling that his mind was clouded, he knows something's wrong but what is it really?
What if 50 proof high isn't literally him getting drunk, but more like his mind being on a drunken state. Tangled thoughts & complicated feelings led him to overthinking. Have I made the right decision? Are they happy for me? Do I have someone to turn to? Who loves me now?
What if this was him looking back. That it was all him..he alone wiped his tears. He alone comforted himself, sighing & contemplating. He alone convinced himself that it'll be better. That everything's gonna turn out right. At the end of the day, it was all him who loved himself.
Well, here we are now. Everything turned out all right. And know we ask you back..."who loves you now?" We all love you now, Jae. Now & even way back. May you be the yellowpostitman, Jae of Day6, Jaesix, eajpark, eaJ, or just simply Jae..we all love you, in all your highs & lows.
We recognize your struggles, we feel your pain. And you know what we love most about you? It's that you radiate positivity despite all of that. Your laugh, your smile, it makes our day. Your music, your passion, it keeps us going. Thank you for being strong, for being a blessing.
Thank you for letting us in, for allowing us to be part of your life. Just like you, we also hurt, but together with you, we heal. Whenever you're in doubt again, always know you have us. And you have Him, your rock & your refuge. Never feel alone, Jae. We got you. Always.
You can follow @foxyYoungK_Jae.
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