GUARDIAN @ HOGWARTS!AU: a thread of headcanons

come get yalls food https://twitter.com/fandoestrans/status/1245898082652286976

Zhao Yunlan: 7th year Gryffindor prefect, Captain and chaser on the quidditch team. Never studied & copies homework but got exceeding expectations for all OWLS

Shen Wei: 7th year Ravenclaw prefect AND Head Boy, does runes work for his professor for fun, all Outstandings in OWLS

Zhu Hong: 6th year Gryffindor, Head Girl, chaser on the quidditch team. Caused a 5 min hat-stall between Gryffindor/Slytherin. Effortlessly good at potions

Da Qing: 5th year Gryffindor, chaser on the quidditch team. The friend that Zhao Yunlan religiously copies homework from.

Chu Shuzhi: 6th year Gryffindor, keeper on the quidditch team. So good at his job that the other team NEVER gets a score in, so Gryffindor usually wins 200-150.

Guo Changcheng: 4th year Gryffindor, seeker on the quidditch team. so SHIT at his job that he never catches the snitch

Wang Zheng & Sang Zan: 5th year Gryffindors, beaters on the quidditch team. They're a bit too nice but they play with PERFECTLY-TIMED PRECISION and COMPLETE SYNCHRONY.

Lin Jing: 5th year Gryffindor, quidditch commentator. believes a little too much in divination and tea leaves.

Shen Wei determinedly attends every. single. quidditch. match, even though he doesn't even understand the game, just to gaze longingly up at the tiny lil red speck that is Zhao Yunlan and think about the fact that he still recognises him 100 feet up in the air.

sighs in Pining.

Zhao Yunlan is a natural at defense against the dark arts, he doesn't even like it bc it's TOO EASY for him. he likes transfiguration tho, he likes having the opportunity to turn things into 1.phallic objects 2. problematic animals, just to see the look on the professor's face.

Zhao Yunlan is a bit TOO smart for his own good. one time in potions, they were supposed to make felix felicis (the lucky potion). Zhao Yunlan pretended he didn't know what he was doing and was "making mistakes" when in reality he was purposefully doing everything wrong, 1/

bc he knew how to make the draught of misfortune, the opposite of felix felicis. It has all the same ingredients, just with different amounts of it. While the potion's master was busy with someone whose potion exploded, Zhao Yunlan put a disillusionment charm on it, 2/

making it LOOK like the shiny golden felix felicis when in reality it was a gloomy dark purple, and then gifted it to the potions master, who praised his work. Needless to say, the outcomes were disastrous. He got a month worth of no-Hogsmeade-detentions. 3/

This is bc one time a professor made the mistake of giving Zhao Yunlan a detention with the game keeper-- which was doing him a huge favour. Zhao Yunlan enjoyed the trip into the Forbidden Forest so much that even after his detentions were done, he kept asking to tag along 4/

and when the game keeper refused, Zhao Yunlan just sneaked out into the Forest by himself. The game keeper only found out a month later because the centaurs revealed that this random student keeps coming by to ask them about astrology. Yunlan is now banned from the Forest :') 5/

on the other hand, Shen Wei's 7th year electives are: Alchemy, Advanced Arithmancy, Ancient Studies and Ancient runes, and he volunteers to help his professor translate texts of ancient runes just for fun on the weekends or after classes. he gets so into it, 1/

that he loses track of time and usually the professor is yawning and nodding off before he is. He has to remind Shen Wei like "It's midnight Shen, go back to your dorms and go to sleep!" and only then will Shen Wei begrudingly leave. 2/

Shen Wei also did apparition in 7th year and of course mastered it with just a few tries, and ended up being the professor's assistant during those classes to help all the other students. and he has such a sweet smile, it's impossible to hate him for being so perfect. 3/

Zhu Hong came from a long line of Slytherins, all of them parseltongue-speakers, and it came as a shock when she actually chose to be in Gryffindor, with the sorting hat stalling and being indecisive. By 5th year she finds out that her family aren't JUST parseltongue-fluent, 1/

but her entire family are actually registered snake animagi. and so because of her family, she ends up becoming a snake animagus as well. Zhao Yunlan was curious about the process, and wondered if it could be replicated or if that process is specifically for their family. 2/

So they ended up trying it on Da Qing, and low and behold, he became a cat animagus, thanks to Zhao Yunlan's ingenuity. and now Zhao Yunlan is the only one left out, because his goody-two-shoes boyfriend would do ANYTHING to stop him from trying the risky procedure himself. 3/