Ranking Marlon Brando Movies From Sexy To CEO Of B/Pussy: A Thread

Let me make it clear that I’m not listing EVERY Brando film. Why? I haven’t seen EVERY Brando film, because some are just bad. Even Brando himself roasted some of his films. Acting was more of a job than a passion to him at times.

So here are some of Brando’s films ranked by sexiness (not talent) because let’s be honest daddy gave up at a certain point

A Streetcar Named Desire (1951)

This is the film that makes most people whores for Marlon Brando. Although he plays an absolute psychotic asshole within this film, we all want to fuck him anyway. That’s talent. (His acting is also superb he was snubbed at the Oscars!)

The Men (1950)

This is Brando’s first film, and it was a flop. He plays a paraplegic who feels insecure about his inability to walk and fulfill marital duties. Even in a wheel chair, Brando seems like he can easily break your back. I’d still pop pussy for this Brando

3. The Wild One (1953)

Brando plays a motorcycling bad boy who heads into a small town to wreck havoc. This film is the epitome of a teen film. It has little to no plot or character development, but my gosh did you see how hot Brando is?

This film is a classic because it represented the rebellious nature of 1950s youth toward society. Having 30 year olds play teenagers was a voice of a generation, kind of like Mean Girls. Is there sustenance? Barely. But it gave a voice to the climate of the time!

4. On The Waterfront (1954)

Brando plays an Italian mafia daddy out there racketeering and shit. This is the film that earned him his first Oscar! When you ignore his prosthetic eyebrows, he’s actually really hot.

5. Julius Caesar (1953)

Brando plays an Italian mafia daddy out there racketeering and shit. This is the film that earned him his first Oscar! When you ignore his prosthetic eyebrows, he’s actually really hot.

6. Guys & Dolls (1955)

Brando plays a risky, law breaking gambling daddy. He also is a panty dropper. Watch him as he fights to win a girl’s heart. Look at his tailored suit. This is what dreams are made of. His voice? Eh, that’s nightmares.

7. Viva Zapata (1952)

This film is controversial. Brando plays a Mexican man, when he is obviously a white one. In the 50s, Mexican people were hardly represented in a serious matter. This film attempted to shed light on real history.

The film wasn’t totally historically accurate, but Brando tried to do everything in his power to play the part with dignity. For 1952, that’s commendable!

8. Reflections In A Golden Eye (1967)

Brando plays a queer soldier in this movie. He’s older and distinguished in this role, and still very much a daddy. This role is especially sexy knowing that Brando himself was bisexual, all while playing this role without giving a fuck.

9. The Fugitive Kind (1960)

Brando plays a mysterious outcast who is trying to set himself straight. Still, he can’t seem to get himself out of trouble. The bad boy prototype just proves Brando never stopped being The Wild One.

This film is also much better when it comes to writing and plot. And while Brando was always a talented actor, he really brought his A-game in this performance!

10. Last Tango In Paris (1976)

An older Brando plays a sexy and rude asf old man. The film is shot beautifully, despite having little to no plot. It was artsy asf for the time. And it was strange such a huge actor would choose such a pussy popping film.

There’s controversy around this film because the director was shady behind the scenes, resulting in Brando’s co-star Maria getting tricked into a sex scene. It should be noted that Brando didn’t know!